Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Tony Hoagland’s poem "And the Men" offers a satirical yet poignant exploration of masculinity, vulnerability, and the evolving dynamics of gender roles. Through humor and vivid imagery, Hoagland critiques traditional male behavior and reflects on the transformation many men are undergoing in contemporary society.

The poem begins with a powerful image: men standing by the interstate, holding signs that read "WILL WORK FOR RELATIONSHIP." This juxtaposition of men as jobless beggars seeking emotional connection rather than employment immediately sets a tone of desperation and irony. These men, previously symbols of independence and self-reliance, are now portrayed as destitute and yearning for intimacy. The mention of their "love-mobiles" and "Shaggin' Wagons" being in disrepair further emphasizes their fall from a state of carefree, self-indulgent masculinity to one of disheveled neediness.

Hoagland’s depiction of men reading self-help books, practicing abstinence, and placing personal ads for platonic relationships with lesbian women highlights their attempts to navigate a new, emotionally conscious landscape. This shift from sexual conquest to seeking genuine connection and understanding underscores a profound change in how men perceive and value relationships. The line "Good listener would like to meet lesbian ladies, for purposes of friendship only" is both humorous and telling, suggesting a newfound respect for boundaries and an earnest, albeit awkward, effort to rebuild trust and communication.

The poem’s tone shifts as Hoagland addresses the underlying sadness of traditional masculinity. The men have realized that "being a man was finally too sad," despite the supposed advantages and societal privileges. The perks of male privilege—jokes, beer, camaraderie—are revealed to be superficial and ultimately unfulfilling. The "lifetime membership benefits" of manhood come at the cost of genuine emotional expression and connection.

Hoagland uses vivid metaphors to illustrate the men’s internal struggle. The fear they hold inside is likened to "a tipsy glass of water," a fragile and precarious state that can easily spill over. This imagery conveys the constant tension and suppression of emotions that men experience, highlighting the instability and unsustainability of such a lifestyle.

As the poem progresses, the men’s transformation becomes more apparent. They are now willing to engage in "commitment renewal weekends and couples therapy," activities traditionally associated with emotional labor and vulnerability. The line "they're ready to make you sick with revelations of their vulnerability" underscores the dramatic shift in their behavior. The previously stoic, impenetrable facade of masculinity is now cracking open, revealing the raw, unfiltered emotions beneath.

The poem’s climax arrives with a striking image of men on their hands and knees, drained of their testosterone, "like radiator fluid, like history, like an experiment that failed." This metaphor encapsulates the end of an era, a significant cultural shift away from rigid gender norms. The comparison to radiator fluid suggests that this transformation is not just a loss but a necessary release, a purging of outdated and harmful ideals.

Hoagland concludes with a warning and a plea: "So here they come on their hands and knees, the men: Here they come. They're really beaten. No tricks this time. No fine print. Please, they're begging you. Look out." This final stanza captures the urgency and sincerity of the men’s desire for change. They are genuinely seeking redemption and a new way of being, devoid of deception or hidden agendas.

"And the Men" is a compelling exploration of masculinity in crisis and transition. Through humor, satire, and vivid imagery, Hoagland captures the complexities and contradictions of male identity in contemporary society. The poem highlights the deep emotional shifts occurring as men confront the limitations of traditional gender roles and seek more authentic and fulfilling ways of relating to themselves and others.

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