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STUDY #2 FOR B.B.L., by         Recitation by Author     Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography

June Jordan's "Study #2 for B.B.L." is a visceral exploration of loss, longing, and the disorientation that comes with the absence of a loved one. The poem's fragmented structure and repetitive language capture the speaker's emotional turmoil and the cyclical nature of their thoughts as they grapple with the reality of someone important leaving their life.

The poem opens with a stark acknowledgment of the departure: "so you're gone going away gone." The repetition of "gone" underscores the finality and impact of the absence. The speaker's disbelief is evident in the lines, "And I never thought I'd jump / And I never thought you'd deal," suggesting a profound sense of surprise and betrayal. The use of "And now And now And now" emphasizes the immediate and pressing nature of the situation, as the speaker is forced to confront the present reality of the loved one being gone.

The repetition throughout the poem serves to mimic the obsessive, circular thoughts that often accompany loss. The lines "gone go going away gone" and "ohwellohwellohwell" convey a sense of resignation and helplessness. The speaker seems to be caught in a loop, unable to move past the fact that the loved one is no longer present.

The plea for the loved one to return is desperate and raw: "Baby, Baby I what can I say / I / I disappear / away / going away gone." The fragmentation of the lines mirrors the fragmentation of the speaker's sense of self. Without the presence of the loved one, the speaker feels incomplete, as if they are losing their identity and stability. The repeated use of "I disappear" highlights the extent to which the speaker's existence is intertwined with the person who has left.

The speaker's need for the loved one is palpable: "come back come back back here to my everything I / I disappear / without/back/here." The longing is intense, almost physical, as the speaker calls for the return of the loved one to restore their sense of wholeness. The phrase "in my everything I I disappear without you" encapsulates the speaker's dependence on the loved one for their emotional and existential grounding.

Despite the repeated assertion "I don't care," it becomes clear that this is a facade. The lines "I need you back here / I need you back here in my in my in my / I need you back here in my everything I" reveal the truth of the speaker's feelings. The repetition here conveys an almost frantic urgency, as if saying it enough times might make it true.

The poem concludes with a return to the initial acknowledgment of the loved one's departure: "going away gone / so you're gone / ohwellohwellohwellohwell / I need you back!" The cyclical nature of the poem mirrors the speaker's emotional cycle of denial, realization, and desperate longing. The final plea, "I need you back!" is a poignant reminder of the speaker's deep and abiding need for the loved one, even as they struggle to accept their absence.

In "Study #2 for B.B.L.," June Jordan masterfully captures the raw, unfiltered emotions of loss and longing. The poem's structure, with its repetition and fragmentation, mirrors the disorientation and obsession that often accompany such profound emotional upheaval. Through this poem, Jordan gives voice to the universal human experience of grappling with the absence of a loved one and the desperate desire for their return.


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