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READING ALOUD TO MY FATHER, by             Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography

Jane Kenyon’s poem “Reading Aloud to My Father” poignantly captures the experience of engaging with a dying loved one, highlighting the disjunction between literature’s attempts to grapple with existential themes and the raw immediacy of facing death. Through vivid imagery and introspective reflection, Kenyon explores themes of mortality, the inadequacy of words, and the profound moments of connection and separation in the process of dying.

The poem begins with a seemingly mundane choice: “I chose the book haphazard / from the shelf, but with Nabokov's first sentence / I knew it wasn't the thing to read to a dying man.” The casual selection of a book contrasts sharply with the gravity of the situation, immediately setting a tone of incongruity. The opening sentence from Nabokov — “The cradle rocks above an abyss” — serves as a stark reminder of life’s transience, a reminder that feels inappropriate and unsettling in the presence of someone nearing the end of life.

Kenyon’s reaction to the text is swift and visceral: “The words disturbed both of us immediately, and I stopped.” This moment underscores the sensitivity required in such situations, where even well-intentioned actions can cause discomfort. The reference to music — “With music it was the same — Chopin's piano concerto — he asked me to turn it off” — further emphasizes the difficulty in finding comfort or distraction, as even familiar and beautiful things can become unbearable.

The poem then shifts to a direct account of the father’s physical decline: “He ceased eating, and drank little, / while the tumors briskly appropriated what was left of him.” This stark description highlights the relentless progression of illness and the bodily transformation that accompanies it. The use of the word “briskly” conveys a sense of speed and inevitability, contrasting with the slow, agonizing wait often associated with the end of life.

Kenyon revisits Nabokov’s metaphor, offering her own interpretation: “But to return to the cradle rocking. I think Nabokov had it wrong. This is the abyss.” She challenges Nabokov’s notion, suggesting that life itself is the abyss — a perspective that perhaps arises from witnessing the suffering and fragility of her father. The line “That's why babies howl at birth, and why the dying so often reach for something only they can apprehend” connects the beginnings and ends of life, both marked by a profound and inarticulate grasping.

The poem concludes with a powerful observation about the final moments of life: “At the end they don't want their hands to be under the covers, and if you should put your hand on theirs in a tentative gesture of solidarity, they'll pull the hand free.” This detail captures the intense personal boundaries and the need for autonomy even in the face of death. Kenyon’s respectful acknowledgment of her father’s desire — “and you must honor that desire, and let them pull it free” — underscores the importance of honoring the wishes of the dying, even when it means facing rejection or separation.

In “Reading Aloud to My Father,” Jane Kenyon masterfully balances the clinical and the emotional, the philosophical and the personal. Through her precise and evocative language, she invites readers to witness the intimate and often uncomfortable realities of dying. The poem explores the limitations of words and gestures in the face of mortality, highlighting the profound respect and sensitivity required in the final acts of care. Kenyon’s ability to convey deep emotional truths through simple, yet powerful imagery makes “Reading Aloud to My Father” a poignant meditation on the complexities of life and death.


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