Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

David Lehman’s "When a Woman Loves a Man" is a wry, playful meditation on the contradictions and miscommunications inherent in romantic relationships. Written in free verse, the poem captures the paradoxes, humor, and poignancy of love, using a shifting perspective that alternates between the two partners. The title recalls the classic Percy Sledge song "When a Man Loves a Woman," but Lehman subverts the traditional sentimentality associated with love poems, replacing it with an ironic, contemporary realism.

The poem’s opening lines immediately establish the theme of misinterpretation: "When she says margarita she means daiquiri. / When she says quixotic she means mercurial." The idea that words don’t always mean what they seem reflects the broader theme of the couple?s misunderstandings. This play on language continues in "When she says, ?I?ll never speak to you again,? / she means, ?Put your arms around me from behind / as I stand disconsolate at the window.?" Here, Lehman captures the unspoken desires beneath dramatic declarations, suggesting that love often operates through indirect signals rather than explicit communication.

The poem moves fluidly through vignettes of their relationship, spanning geographical distances and mundane moments. The lovers are frequently apart—"When a man loves a woman he is in New York and she is in Virginia / or he is in Boston, writing, and she is in New York, reading." These moments of separation reinforce the idea that love, in this context, is as much about longing and distance as it is about presence. Even when together, they experience time differently: "When a woman loves a man, it is one ten in the morning / she is asleep he is watching the ball scores and eating pretzels / drinking lemonade / and two hours later he wakes up and staggers into bed / where she remains asleep and very warm." This moment captures the quiet reality of cohabitation—love is not always grand gestures but small, unnoticed acts of companionship.

Lehman also injects humor into the dynamics of love: "When he says, ?Ours is a transitional era,? / ?That?s very original of you,? she replies, / dry as the martini he is sipping." The intellectual posturing and sarcasm highlight the couple?s playfulness, but also their underlying tension. This humor peaks in the moment where they argue: "They fight all the time / It?s fun / What do I owe you? / Let?s start with an apology / Ok, I?m sorry, you dickhead." The staged nature of this dialogue, complete with a "sign held up saying ?Laughter,?" gives the poem a cinematic quality, as if their relationship is unfolding in a silent film.

Despite the tensions and breakups ("One year they broke up seven times and threatened to do it another nine times."), there is an undeniable undercurrent of devotion. The man, despite his frustrations, "watches her sleep, thinking: / as midnight to the moon is sleep to the beloved." Here, the language shifts to a lyrical, almost pastoral mode, invoking fireflies, frogs, and stars, ending on an image of beauty and wonder. This contrast between the everyday absurdities of love and its deeper poetic underpinnings suggests that love, for all its frustrations, remains something magical and enduring.

Structurally, the poem?s free verse reflects the unpredictable nature of relationships. The lack of a fixed rhyme scheme or meter allows for fluidity, mirroring the way love moves through different moods and moments. The abrupt tonal shifts—from affectionate to argumentative, sarcastic to tender—create a dynamic rhythm that keeps the reader engaged.

Ultimately, "When a Woman Loves a Man" is a modern, self-aware take on love poetry. It acknowledges the contradictions of romance—closeness and distance, irritation and devotion, frustration and joy—while celebrating them. Lehman’s humor, wit, and shifting perspectives make the poem both relatable and profound, capturing the everyday comedy and drama of being in love.

Copyright (c) 2025 PoetryExplorer

Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!

Other Poems of Interest...