Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Philip Levine’s "I Am Always" is a multifaceted exploration of memory, identity, and the passage from childhood to adulthood. The poem is divided into three sections, each offering a distinct yet interconnected perspective on the speaker's evolving self-awareness and familial relationships. Through intimate and vivid imagery, Levine captures the complexities of growing up and the enduring presence of formative experiences.

In the first section, the speaker situates himself in a steamy bathroom, observing his father: "I sit on the toilet, the lid down, the room misted with steam. / My father talks and sings by turns of the power of machine guns no man can face, of a home home on the range." The juxtaposition of mundane activities with grand themes like machine guns and home evokes a sense of the father's complex persona—both powerful and domesticated. The father's focus on money and security—"Money is what they want, he says, and more and a way of keeping it"—reflects his pragmatic concerns and possibly a sense of disillusionment with the world.

The description of the father drying himself—"He stands before the mirror running the thick white towel between his legs, and then dries carefully his long root half hidden in hair"—is both intimate and raw. The "black tufts" and "shadow" across his body convey a sense of robustness and masculinity. This scene, seen through the eyes of the speaker, captures a moment of vulnerability and the everyday rituals that shape one's perception of a parent.

In the second section, the focus shifts to the speaker lying naked on a metal table, reminiscent of a medical examination: "I lie naked on the metal table where they must have brought my father. / There's nothing wrong, the Doctor says, nothing I can find." This setting evokes a sense of vulnerability and the transition from childhood to manhood. The mother's concern—"He's too frail, mother says"—is met with the doctor's reassurance: "No. / He's growing. He'll become a man. They all do." This dialogue underscores the inevitable process of maturation and the anxieties that accompany it.

The speaker's introspection deepens as he imagines his body transforming: "I shut my eyes / and see my own legs stretching off like peninsulas, my chest and stomach bursting with rocks, groves, fields of tall grasses with black pools of water underneath." This fantastical imagery suggests a profound internal transformation, where the body becomes a landscape filled with natural elements. The refusal to open his eyes even "when the stars exploding won't open them" signifies a resistance to confronting the full reality of this transformation.

The third section returns to the theme of childhood, blending sensory experiences with a sense of foreboding and curiosity: "I am always a boy swimming up through the odors of beer and dreams to hear my name shivering on the window." The speaker's mother, sleeping beside him, adds to the sense of intimacy and the passage of time: "Beside me mother curls on her side, a bare round arm under her head, her hair unwound fans out, her mouth half closes around the words I can't hear."

The act of dressing quickly and quietly to avoid waking his mother—"The floor is cold. I dress quickly pulling on the high socks first and then the knickers, and carry the shoes out to the kitchen"—captures the innocence and practicality of childhood routines. The presence of a boy calling him outside—"Outside by the scaling backyard fence a boy in a gray cap calls me out, his long hands deep in his pockets hiding the dark thumbs and bitten nails"—invites a sense of adventure and the unknown, encapsulating the tension between safety and exploration.

"I Am Always" is a poignant meditation on the enduring impact of formative experiences and the continuous process of becoming. Levine's rich, sensory imagery and layered narrative structure create a vivid portrayal of the speaker's journey through the complexities of identity and familial relationships. The poem's blend of introspection and external observation invites readers to reflect on their own transitions and the moments that shape who they are.

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