Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

In "Parents," William Meredith poignantly captures the complex and often ambivalent emotions children experience towards their parents. The poem delves into the evolution of this relationship, from the innocence of childhood admiration to the critical eye of adulthood, and finally to the inevitable role reversal as children themselves become parents. Meredith’s candid and introspective tone, coupled with his use of vivid imagery, illuminates the emotional landscape that defines the parent-child dynamic, ultimately touching on themes of love, aging, and the inevitability of mortality.

The poem opens with a striking comparison, suggesting that imagining the existence of angels or squirrels is easier than understanding what it is like to be a parent. This sets the tone for the poem's exploration of the incomprehensibility and mystery of parental life from a child's perspective. The line "The last time we go to bed good, / they are there, lying about darkness" suggests a time when children still believe in the infallibility and omnipotence of their parents. The phrase "lying about darkness" may hint at the protective lies parents tell to shield their children from the harsh realities of the world, creating a cocoon of security and comfort.

As children grow, the poem notes a shift in perception: "They dandle us once too often, / these friends who become our enemies." The act of dandling, once a gesture of affection, becomes overbearing. The transition from seeing parents as "friends" to viewing them as "enemies" reflects the natural progression of asserting independence and recognizing parental imperfections. Meredith captures the awkwardness of this phase, noting the incongruity of aging parents with "wrinkles where it is better / smooth, odd coughs, and smells." These physical changes mark a shift in the child's perception, as parents who were once seen as strong and invincible become vulnerable and flawed.

The poem candidly acknowledges the inevitability of these changes and the enduring nature of familial love, despite its complications: "It is grotesque how they go on / loving us, we go on loving them." The use of "grotesque" underscores the discomfort and awkwardness of this love, highlighting its persistence despite the challenges. This unconditional love is both a blessing and a burden, as it ties the generations together in a continuous cycle.

Meredith then addresses the existential discomfort children feel when confronted with the reality of their parents' role in their existence: "The effrontery, barely imaginable, / of having caused us. And of how." This line touches on the profound and unsettling realization that parents are the origin of one's life, a fact that becomes more difficult to grapple with as one matures and understands the complexities of existence.

The poem suggests a common desire among children to "do better" than their parents, a sentiment that persists even as they age. However, Meredith points out the futility of this aspiration: "Everything / they do is wrong, and the worst thing, / they all do it, is to die." The inevitability of death is the ultimate wrongdoing in the eyes of the children, as it leaves them with unanswered questions and a sense of abandonment. The parents' death severs "the last explanation" of their origins, symbolized by the phrase "how we came out of the wet sea / or wherever they got us from." This metaphorical "chain" represents the continuity of knowledge and lineage, which is irretrievably lost with the passing of the parents.

The poem concludes with a poignant image of aging and the cycle of life: "Father, mother, we cry, wrinkling, / to our uncomprehending children and grandchildren." This final line encapsulates the full circle of life, where the once-young children, now aged and wrinkled, find themselves in the position of their parents, facing the incomprehension of the younger generation. It reflects the inevitable passage of time and the persistence of familial bonds, despite the profound changes that occur over a lifetime.

"Parents" by William Meredith eloquently portrays the evolving relationship between parents and children, capturing the spectrum of emotions from love and dependence to criticism and loss. The poem serves as a meditation on the complexities of these relationships, the inevitability of aging, and the bittersweet nature of the human condition. Through its introspective and honest narrative, Meredith invites readers to reflect on their own familial ties and the universal experiences of love, aging, and mortality.

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