Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

"If I Could Mourn Like a Mourning Dove" by Frank Bidart is a poignant reflection on grief, memory, and the enduring nature of love. Through the lens of a deeply personal loss, Bidart explores the complex emotions surrounding the death of a loved one, using the recurring image of a face and the exchange of parting words to convey the weight of mourning and the struggle to find solace.

Recurrence as a Vehicle for Belief

The poem opens with the assertion, "It is what recurs that we believe," setting the tone for an exploration of how repetition—of images, words, and memories—anchors our understanding of love and loss. This thematic focus on recurrence reflects the cyclical nature of grief, where certain moments, images, or phrases continuously resurface in the mind, each time reaffirming the reality of the loss and the depth of the bond that was shared.

The Power of Memory

Bidart's reference to a face looking "sideways up at me anguished or / elate" captures the vividness of memory, which can preserve the most fleeting and intimate moments with startling clarity. The juxtaposition of "anguished" and "elate" within the same gaze underscores the complexity of relationships, where moments of joy and pain are inextricably linked. This duality is reflective of the grieving process itself, which oscillates between remembering the happiness shared with the loved one and confronting the pain of their absence.

The Gravity of Words

The phrase "the old words welling up by / gravity rearranged" speaks to the transformative power of loss on language. Words exchanged in life, perhaps once casual or routine, take on profound significance in the wake of death. The gravity of loss rearranges these "old words," imbuing them with new weight and meaning. This transformation is poignantly illustrated in the contrast between the speaker's "usual casual sign-off" and the departed's solemn reply, "My love to you, Frank." The simplicity and sincerity of these parting words capture the essence of the bond they shared, underscoring the depth of the speaker's grief.

The Quest for Mourning

The title's invocation of mourning like a mourning dove suggests a longing for an outward expression of grief that matches the intensity of the internal experience. Mourning doves are often associated with sorrow due to their plaintive calls, symbolizing the universal need to mourn and the search for a voice or form that adequately conveys the pain of loss. Bidart's poem, in its reflection on the moments and words that recur in the wake of a loved one's death, itself becomes a means of mourning—attempting to articulate the ineffable and to find solace in the act of remembering.

"If I Could Mourn Like a Mourning Dove" is a testament to the enduring impact of love and the ways in which the memory of a loved one persists in the landscape of the living. Through its intimate exploration of grief and memory, the poem invites readers to reflect on their own experiences of loss and the small, recurring reminders of those they have loved and lost.

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