Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

"How It Was at the End" by Stephen Dobyns presents a stark and deeply moving portrayal of a funeral, capturing a moment that is at once specific in its details and universal in its emotional resonance. The poem, through its meticulous depiction of a simple and yet profoundly symbolic act—the burial of a loved one in a white cardboard box—explores themes of mortality, grief, the human struggle to comprehend death, and the natural cycle of life and decay. Dobyns employs a restrained narrative style that amplifies the emotional weight of the scene, allowing the imagery and the actions of those present to convey the depth of the poem’s thematic concerns.

At the heart of the poem is the juxtaposition of the physical smallness of the deceased's remains against the enormity of the loss felt by the family. The grandchild's innocent query, "How did they make him so little to put him in such a little box?" underscores not only the physical transformation brought about by death but also the difficulty of reconciling the tangible reality of loss with our memories and perceptions of the person who has passed. This question introduces the theme of the incomprehensibility of death, especially to the young, and the struggle to make sense of how someone who loomed so large in life can be reduced to such small remains.

The imagery of the cardboard box, set in a hole and gradually becoming sodden with rain, serves as a poignant metaphor for the fragility of life and the inexorable process of decay and return to the earth. The absence of a proper burial, highlighted by the futile search for a shovel and the eventual use of hands to cover the box with mud, reflects the unpreparedness with which we often face death—both logistically and emotionally. This act, performed with such rudimentary means, emphasizes the raw and primal nature of grief, stripping away the trappings of ritual to reveal the elemental act of saying goodbye.

Dobyns' attention to the tactile experience of the mud—“thick, gloppy, turd-colored, mud-smelling mud”—and the lingering presence of dirt on the hands of the mourners serves as a powerful reminder of the physical reality of death and the way it continues to cling to the living. The difficulty of washing away the mud symbolizes the enduring nature of grief, the way it remains a part of us long after the funeral has ended.

The poem concludes with a reflection on the passage of time and the cycle of life, as represented by the changing seasons. The mention of October and the leaves making their “bright passage from the trees to that nothingness called eternal” ties the individual act of mourning to the larger, natural processes of death and renewal. This imagery situates personal loss within the context of the eternal cycle of life and death, suggesting a continuity that transcends individual existence.

In "How It Was at the End," Stephen Dobyns captures the essence of mourning with profound sensitivity and insight. Through its vivid imagery, the poem navigates the complexities of grief, the physicality of death, and the search for meaning in loss. It speaks to the universal experience of facing the finality of death, the struggle to accept it, and the ways in which we carry our loved ones and our grief with us, as indelible parts of our being.

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