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TENDERLY, by             Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography

"Tenderly" by Stephen Dobyns is a darkly humorous and deeply unsettling exploration of the human psyche, societal norms, and the shared yet disparate impact of traumatic or bizarre events on witnesses. Through a shocking incident in a public setting, Dobyns delves into themes of mental breakdown, voyeurism, and the collective memory of trauma, presenting a vivid tableau that questions our responses to and interpretations of the unexpected.

The scene is set in a restaurant that is neither fancy nor a dump, filled with diners on a typical Saturday night. This ordinariness is abruptly disrupted when a man, overwhelmed by personal crises or madness, leaps onto a table and begins to mutilate himself with a butter knife. His outburst, "I can't stand it anymore!" suggests a breaking point, a final loss of control after enduring unbearable internal strife. This act of self-harm is not only a cry for help but also a public renunciation of his own suffering, performed in the most shockingly visible way possible.

The reaction of the diners and staff—quickly restraining the man and removing him from the scene—reflects society's discomfort with mental illness and its symptoms. The return of the patrons to their meals, with remarks on the peculiarity of the situation, underscores a common but disconcerting aspect of human nature: the ability to witness profound disturbances and then return to normalcy, almost unfazed. It raises questions about desensitization and the limits of empathy in contemporary society.

Dobyns points out the indelible impact such a scene has on its witnesses. The incident becomes a permanent memory, popping up unbidden, shaping perceptions and possibly attitudes towards mental health and crisis. Each diner's recollection of the event is a personal imprint, forever part of their cognitive and emotional landscape. This shared experience inadvertently binds them, as Dobyns suggests, like a family linked through a "single portrait" of collective trauma.

The poem also contemplates the aftermath for the man who caused the disturbance. Removed from the immediate scene and left among trash cans, his future is speculated to be bleak, filled with "additional humiliation and defeat." This prediction is a grim commentary on the fate of those who display severe mental health crises in public: often ostracized, misunderstood, and stripped of dignity.

However, Dobyns injects a note of empathy and hopeful fantasy towards the end of the poem. The diners, reflecting on their own burdens and the fine line they walk near their breaking points, wish the best for the man in a form of shared human suffering. The retired banker's hopeful vision of the man finding peace and affection on a foreign beach serves as a poignant counterbalance to the earlier violence, a wish for redemption and happiness against the odds.

In "Tenderly," Stephen Dobyns uses a shocking act of public self-violence to explore deeper social and psychological themes. The poem challenges readers to consider their own reactions to such events, the fragility of the human mind, and the complex web of empathy, horror, and indifference that characterizes the human condition. It's a powerful reflection on the impact of trauma, both personal and collective, and the sometimes fragile veneer of normalcy that can mask deep-seated pain and madness.

POEM TEXT: https://www.wisdomportal.com/StephenDobyns/DobynsReading.html


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