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Alan Dugan’s poem "Poems" captures a stark and unvarnished meditation on existential despair and the search for meaning in the face of mortality. Through a personal and raw tone, Dugan explores themes of disillusionment, physical decay, and the pursuit of solace in various forms, ultimately finding a form of resolution in the natural cycle of life and death.

The poem opens with a question that encapsulates the human quest for comfort in times of suffering: "What's the balm for a dying life, dope, drink, or Christ, is there one?" This line sets the stage for an exploration of potential remedies for the existential pain of living—a common theme in Dugan’s work. The mention of "dope, drink, or Christ" suggests a range of responses, from self-medication and escapism to spiritual salvation, highlighting the poet's skepticism about the efficacy of these solutions.

As the poem progresses, the speaker describes his physical and emotional response to the existential dilemma: "I puke and choke with it and find no peace of mind in flesh, and no hope." The visceral description of vomiting and choking reflects a profound sense of revulsion, both at the physical body and the existential condition. This imagery conveys the depth of the speaker's despair and his inability to find comfort or hope in his corporeal existence.

The feeling of life slipping away is captured in the lines, "It flows away in mucous juice. Nothing I can do can make it stay," which depict life as a substance that cannot be held onto or controlled. This metaphor of life as "mucous juice" underscores its messiness and the futility of trying to preserve it, emphasizing the transient nature of human existence.

In the final lines of the poem, Dugan shifts to a slightly more resigned and perhaps ironically reflective tone: "so I give out and water the garden: it is all shit for the flowers anyhow." This conclusion, while bleak, suggests a kind of acceptance of the cycle of life and death. The act of watering the garden, using the metaphor of waste as fertilizer, implies that life's experiences, no matter how despairing, contribute to the growth and renewal of life elsewhere. It’s a recognition that the products of human existence, even those steeped in suffering, can still nourish and sustain new life in other forms.

Dugan's poem is a powerful expression of existential angst, marked by its blunt and gritty language. It confronts the raw and often unpleasant realities of human existence, eschewing romantic or idealized portrayals of life’s end. Instead, it presents a more grounded recognition of the cycle of life, suggesting that perhaps the natural order—where death nourishes new life—is the only balm for the suffering that accompanies our mortality. Through this realization, Dugan finds a cold comfort, acknowledging the ongoing rhythm of nature as a backdrop to human despair and resilience.

POEM TEXT:

What's the balm

for a dying life,

dope, drink, or Christ,

is there one?

I puke and choke

with it and find

no peace of mind

in flesh, and no hope.

It flows away

in mucous juice.

Nothing I can do

can make it stay,

so I give out

and water the garden: it

is all shit

for the flowers anyhow.


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