Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

In "What I Should Have Said," Joy Harjo delves into the complexities of communication, love, and the unspoken tensions that can exist in relationships. The poem captures a sense of disconnection and the struggle to articulate deep feelings, exploring the emotional landscape that lies between words and silence.

The poem begins with a straightforward declaration: "There's nothing that says you can't call." This line immediately establishes a sense of longing and missed connection, suggesting that while there is no barrier to communication, it is not happening as it should. The speaker then describes their daily routine, "I spend the weekdays teaching and moving my children from breakfast to bedtime," which highlights the busyness of life and the responsibilities that fill their time. This routine serves as a backdrop to the emotional weight the speaker is carrying.

The speaker expresses a sense of betrayal: "I feel like a traitor telling someone else things I can't tell to you." This line reveals the internal conflict of confiding in others instead of the person they truly wish to speak to, suggesting a barrier in their primary relationship. The question, "What is it that keeps us together?" points to a search for the underlying connection that persists despite the silence and distance.

The imagery of physical distance, "Fingertip to fingertip, from Santa Fe to Albuquerque," evokes a longing for closeness and the tactile nature of human connection. The speaker feels overwhelmed by unspoken words: "I feel bloated with what I should say and what I don't." This metaphor of being "bloated" with unsaid words conveys a sense of discomfort and the burden of holding back emotions.

Harjo then describes the relationship's current state: "We drift and drift, with few storms of heat inbetween the motions." The use of "drift" suggests a lack of direction and purpose, while the "storms of heat" imply occasional moments of passion or conflict that disrupt the otherwise passive existence. The declaration, "I love you. The words confuse me," highlights the paradox of love—the simplicity of the statement contrasted with the complexity of its implications and the speaker's feelings.

The speaker reflects on the role of these words: "Maybe they have become a cushion keeping us in azure sky and in flight not there, not here." This image of being in flight, suspended between destinations, suggests that the words "I love you" have become a means of avoiding grounding in reality, keeping the relationship in a liminal space.

Harjo uses a powerful metaphor to describe the emotional state: "We are horses knocked out with tranquilizers sucked into a deep deep sleeping for the comfort and anesthesia death." This image of tranquilized horses conveys a sense of numbness and paralysis, indicating that the relationship is stuck in a state of suspended animation, neither fully alive nor completely dead.

The poem concludes with a poignant observation: "We are caught between clouds and wet earth and there is no motion either way / no life to speak of." This final image encapsulates the overall theme of stagnation and the inability to move forward or backward. The relationship exists in a state of limbo, lacking the vitality and movement that would signify true connection and growth.

"What I Should Have Said" by Joy Harjo is a profound exploration of the challenges of communication and the complexities of love. Through rich imagery and honest reflection, Harjo captures the tension between what is felt and what is expressed, highlighting the emotional distance that can exist even in close relationships. The poem resonates with the universal struggle to bridge the gap between silence and speech, longing and fulfillment.

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