Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

John Hollander's "For Both of You, The Divorce Being Final" captures the complex emotions and social dynamics surrounding the finalization of a divorce. Through its use of vivid imagery and metaphor, the poem delves into the themes of loss, ritual, and the awkwardness of social interactions in the face of personal upheaval.

The poem opens with an acknowledgment of the inadequacy of traditional celebratory music in the context of a divorce: "We cannot celebrate with doleful music / The old, gold panoplies that are so great / To sit and watch." Here, the "old, gold panoplies" suggest a grandeur and formality that are ill-suited to the somber reality of a marriage ending. Instead of commanding "the nasal krumhorns to be silent" and other historical instruments to wail, the poem suggests a different, more fitting form of acknowledgment.

The imagery of "the man / Unlatch[ing] the tailgate on his cart, permitting / The sackbut player to extend his crook / And go to work on whimpering divisions" evokes a scene of orchestrated sorrow, where even the music is adapted to reflect the sadness of the occasion. The preparation of a masque, a form of elaborate performance, symbolizes the theatrical nature of social rituals that are ultimately insufficient for the gravity of divorce.

The poem highlights the challenge of finding appropriate rituals: "Rigging machinery to collapse the household / Just at the end," symbolizing the dismantling of a shared life. The rehearsed actions of "urchins who / Will trip, all gilded, into the Master Bedroom / And strip the sheets" further emphasize the sense of orchestrated finality and the stripping away of the shared intimacy.

The poem touches on the responses of friends and acquaintances, capturing the tension and discomfort in social interactions: "We tell some anxious friends / 'Basta! They know what they are doing'; others / Whom we dislike, and who, like queens, betray / Never a trace of uneasiness, we play with." This highlights the performative aspect of social relationships, where different attitudes and responses are tailored to different audiences, often masking true feelings of anxiety and discomfort.

The narrative then shifts to a more intimate and poignant moment: "For a dark instant, as in your unlit foyer / At sundown, bringing a parcel, we see you both / And stifle the awkward question 'What, are you here?'" This encounter captures the unexpected and awkward reality of seeing both individuals together, highlighting the dissonance between the finality of their divorce and the remnants of their shared existence.

The closing lines, "Not because it has been asked before / By Others meeting Underground," suggest a shared, almost clandestine acknowledgment of the situation among those who have experienced similar circumstances. The "Underground" metaphor implies a hidden, unspoken understanding among those who have faced the end of a relationship.

"For Both of You, The Divorce Being Final" is a poignant exploration of the emotional and social complexities surrounding divorce. Through its rich imagery and thoughtful reflections, the poem captures the inadequacy of traditional rituals to address the profound loss and change that come with the end of a marriage. Hollander's work invites readers to consider the delicate balance between public performance and private grief, and the often awkward reality of navigating social interactions during times of personal upheaval.

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