Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Dorianne Laux?s "How It Will Happen, When" poignantly captures the rawness of grief and the slow, almost imperceptible process of healing. The poem unfolds in two temporal planes—one entrenched in the immediate aftermath of loss and the other envisioning a future marked by a quieter, more reflective sorrow. Through vivid imagery and a deep understanding of human emotion, Laux examines how we cope with loss, how time reshapes our pain, and how acceptance finally arrives in the most unexpected moments.

The poem opens with the speaker in the depths of mourning. The repetition of “crying” emphasizes the relentless nature of grief, portraying the body as overwhelmed by its own capacity for emotion. The physicality of grief is palpable: the speaker is “curled up on the couch, the floor, at the foot of the bed,” utterly consumed by sorrow. Laux’s detailed imagery—of clothing scattered in a “loose pile” by the bathroom door—anchors the poem in a deeply personal and domestic space, highlighting the way loss invades even the most mundane aspects of life. These remnants of the loved one become triggers for fresh waves of mourning, as the speaker falls “down again,” unable to escape the weight of their absence.

The poem then shifts to a future imagined with striking clarity. This transition introduces hope, albeit faint and tentative, as the speaker envisions a day when the intensity of grief has subsided. The imagery here is starkly different: the house is “clean for once,” the sun enters “easily,” and there is a sense of order and calm. These details contrast sharply with the chaotic and tear-soaked scenes of the past, signaling a return to some semblance of normalcy. Yet, even in this imagined future, the speaker’s connection to their grief remains. The act of peeling an orange or observing a bird’s flight becomes infused with meaning, suggesting how ordinary moments can hold profound significance after loss.

Laux’s use of the bird as a metaphor is particularly evocative. The bird, “trapped in the air” before it gathers the will to fly, mirrors the speaker’s own emotional paralysis and eventual movement toward acceptance. This delicate image captures the fragility of grief and the courage required to move forward. The bird’s flight becomes a symbol of resilience, a subtle reminder that life continues even in the shadow of loss.

The climactic moment of the poem arrives with the introduction of a single word: “dead.” The speaker imagines a moment years in the future when they encounter an ordinary word—“cup or gate or wisp”—and suddenly feel the full weight of their loss. Laux’s choice to juxtapose these simple, tangible objects with the abstract and devastating reality of death underscores how language, like grief, can both reveal and obscure. The act of repeating the word “cup” until it “begins to make sense” mirrors the speaker’s journey toward acceptance, as they finally say, “He’s dead. / He’s not coming back.” This moment is powerful not because of its drama but because of its simplicity—it marks the first time the speaker truly believes in the permanence of their loss.

At its core, "How It Will Happen, When" is a meditation on the enduring nature of grief and the ways it transforms over time. Laux skillfully navigates the tension between the immediacy of pain and the slow, often surprising process of healing. The poem resonates because it refuses to romanticize grief or offer easy resolutions; instead, it acknowledges the messy, nonlinear path to acceptance. Through its vivid imagery and emotional honesty, the poem offers a profound exploration of loss, resilience, and the quiet moments in which we begin to rebuild our lives.

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