Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Naomi Shihab Nye’s "My Friend’s Divorce" is a brief yet deeply evocative meditation on resilience, transformation, and the continuity of life after loss. Using the metaphor of a garden, the poem explores the emotional and psychological process of moving forward after a significant rupture. The speaker’s desire for their friend to physically uproot and replant her garden mirrors the need for emotional transplantation—carrying forward the living elements of one’s past into a new space where they can survive and thrive.

The poem opens with a direct, almost urgent wish: "I want her to dig up every plant in her garden." The repetition of every emphasizes thoroughness, as if nothing should be left behind in the old space. The specificity of the plants—"the pansies the pentas / roses ranunculus / thyme and lilies"—gives the passage a rich texture, reinforcing the idea that this garden has been carefully cultivated. The presence of both flowers and herbs suggests a mix of beauty and utility, as if the garden represents not just aesthetic pleasure but also nourishment and healing.

The mention of "the thing nobody knows the name of" introduces an element of mystery and unclassified experience, hinting at the aspects of life and love that resist easy definition. It acknowledges that some things in relationships, like certain plants, are present and significant even if they cannot be neatly labeled.

The next command—"unwind the morning glories from the wire windows of the fence"—suggests the delicate, almost surgical process of detangling something deeply intertwined. Morning glories, known for their climbing nature, represent attachment and dependence. Removing them from the fence is not a violent act but a careful unbinding, symbolizing the slow and intentional process of separating oneself from the structures that once provided support.

The speaker insists on including "the blooming and the almost-blooming and the dormant / especially the dormant." This choice highlights the importance of not just what is currently flourishing, but also what is still in process and what appears lifeless but may yet revive. The emphasis on "especially the dormant" suggests a faith in renewal—that even things that seem inactive or lost can find new life in the right environment.

The poem’s closing lines complete the metaphor: "and then / plant them in her new yard on the other side of town / and see how they breathe." This act of replanting serves as both a literal and symbolic act of survival. Moving to a new home, a new life, does not mean discarding everything from the past. Instead, it means taking what can be carried forward, reestablishing roots, and allowing things to adapt. The final phrase—"see how they breathe."—suggests that, just as plants adjust to new soil, so too does the heart. It is a quiet affirmation that growth continues even after upheaval.

"My Friend’s Divorce" transforms a painful event into an act of renewal. Naomi Shihab Nye’s use of natural imagery offers a vision of healing that is neither sentimental nor abrupt, but instead grounded in patience and care. The poem suggests that loss does not mean total erasure—it means replanting, adjusting, and allowing time to bring new life where there was once disruption.

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