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THE COULDN'T, by             Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography

Sharon Olds' poem "The Couldn't" delves into a fraught moment of confrontation between a mother and daughter, capturing the intense emotional and physical complexities of adolescence and the struggle for autonomy. The poem's narrative revolves around the speaker's resistance to her mother's control, symbolized through the physical and symbolic barriers of clothing and menstrual equipment.

The poem begins with the speaker being sent upstairs by her mother, presumably to prepare for punishment. However, the speaker experiences an unexpected inability to comply: "my thumbs were no longer opposable, they would not hook into the waistband." This physical paralysis signifies a deeper psychological resistance. The limpness of her thumbs reflects her refusal to undress, a necessary step for the punishment to occur. The specific mention of the "Young Lady’s First Sanitary Belt" introduces the theme of menstruation, a rite of passage that signifies the onset of womanhood. The belt, with its "metal teeth gripping the pad," is described in a clinical and mechanical manner, highlighting the discomfort and alienation the speaker feels toward this aspect of her body.

The lines "I couldn’t be punished, unless I was bare, but I couldn’t be bare, unless I took off my Young Lady’s First Sanitary Belt" emphasize the dilemma faced by the speaker. The belt serves as both a literal and metaphorical shield, protecting her from her mother's punishment and the vulnerability of being bare. The use of the phrase "the waste of the power of creation" suggests a sense of frustration and resentment towards the biological process of menstruation, which the speaker perceives as a burden.

The poem's tension escalates when the mother enters the room and finds the speaker still dressed. The mother's face "lit up with sarcastic wonder, and combat," indicating a mixture of disbelief and aggression. The speaker's silence in response to her mother's reaction underscores the power struggle at play. The scene becomes physically confrontational as the speaker bolts from the room, slamming her brother to the floor in the process. The frantic movement through the house and the final act of "getting my back against a wall" suggest a desperate attempt to escape and protect herself.

The climax of the poem occurs as the mother and daughter face off, "dressed in our dresses and our secret straps and pulleys." This description vividly captures the concealed tensions and complexities of their relationship, as well as the private struggles associated with womanhood. The "secret straps and pulleys" allude to the hidden mechanisms of the sanitary belt and the unspoken rules governing their interaction. The speaker's resolve to "hurt her before the last scene of this long-running act could be played out to its completion" reveals a fierce determination to assert her autonomy and resist her mother's authority.

The final lines of the poem, "and then I walked away—and for the year I remained in that house, each month our bodies called," suggest a temporary victory for the speaker. However, the mention of "each month our bodies called" indicates the ongoing, inescapable reality of menstruation and the cyclical nature of their conflict. The use of "called" implies a persistent, almost involuntary communication between their bodies, highlighting the shared, yet isolating experience of womanhood.

"The Couldn't" poignantly explores the themes of control, bodily autonomy, and the mother-daughter relationship. Olds uses vivid imagery and intense emotional language to convey the speaker's struggle for independence and the complexities of growing up female. The poem captures a moment of defiance and the deep, unresolved tensions that exist between generations, particularly in the context of transitioning into adulthood and navigating the expectations imposed by family and society.


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