Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Alicia Suskin Ostriker's poem "The Anniversary" is a raw and complex exploration of the evolution of a long-term relationship, delving into the intersections of love, conflict, compromise, and the passage of time. The poem captures the dualities of intimacy and estrangement, success and failure, and peace and violence within the context of a marriage that has survived the fiery passions of youth and settled into the routines of middle age.

The poem begins with a paradoxical statement: "Of course we failed, by succeeding." This line sets the tone for the entire piece, suggesting that the success of the relationship—its longevity—has come at a cost. The "fiery cherub" that once symbolized the passion and intensity of young love has now become "smothering," an image that evokes the gradual stifling of that initial fervor. The speaker describes a "greedy heart" that "dives into a dream / Of power or truth," only to "wake up middle aged / In some committee room." This metaphor speaks to the compromises and disappointments that often accompany the passage of time, where the grand ambitions of youth are replaced by the more mundane realities of adult life.

Ostriker then reflects on the nature of the relationship, using the metaphor of a wedding to signify a union that, while lasting, has transformed from its original, fiery beginnings. The speaker recalls a time when love was "war," a battleground of intense emotions and conflicting desires. The declaration "When love was war, you swore you'd burn / Your life and die at thirty-five" captures the youthful idealism and recklessness that often accompanies passionate love. The speaker's response, "I said good riddance, / Bright hairy boy, I will beat you, down," reveals a combative dynamic, one where both partners were determined to assert their individuality and dominance within the relationship.

The poem then shifts to a reflection on the present, where the fiery conflict has given way to a more stable, if less exhilarating, coexistence. "We cohabit in a functioning machine," the speaker notes, acknowledging the transition from passionate love to the practicalities of maintaining a household and raising children. The imagery of a "functioning machine" suggests efficiency and routine, but also a loss of the spontaneity and intensity that once characterized their relationship.

Ostriker introduces the theme of violence, "somewhere else," in stark contrast to the "peace" between the couple. The references to "The flayed combatant, the dismembered child, / The instruments in the basement" evoke the horrors of war and violence, suggesting that while the couple has found relative peace in their domestic life, they are not entirely insulated from the world's brutality. The line "We must wish it" implies a sense of complicity or resignation, as if the couple, by choosing peace for themselves, has implicitly accepted the violence that occurs elsewhere.

Despite the sense of disillusionment and compromise, the speaker expresses a deep attachment to their partner: "I know you, I caress you, I fail you." This line captures the complexity of long-term love, where familiarity breeds both comfort and frustration, where affection and failure coexist. The speaker's faith "adheres / In nothing," signaling a loss of certainty and perhaps a recognition that the idealized version of love and life they once pursued is unattainable. Yet, in the final plea, "Don't leave me, don't leave me," there is a poignant acknowledgment of the enduring need for connection and companionship, even in the face of disillusionment.

"The Anniversary" is a powerful meditation on the realities of long-term relationships, where the passions of youth give way to the compromises of middle age, and where love, though transformed, continues to bind two people together. Ostriker's poem captures the tension between the ideal and the real, the past and the present, and the individual and the couple, ultimately revealing the complexities and contradictions inherent in enduring love.

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