Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Anne Sexton's "The Ballad of the Lonely Masturbator" is a raw and unflinching exploration of loneliness, desire, and the complex relationship between physical and emotional intimacy. The poem's title immediately sets the tone, presenting the act of masturbation not merely as a physical action, but as a symbol of isolation and the desperate attempt to find solace in one's own body when the connection with another has been severed.

Sexton begins with a blunt assertion: "The end of the affair is always death." This line encapsulates the finality of a romantic relationship's conclusion, equating it to the ultimate end—death. The speaker’s journey through the poem is marked by this sense of irrevocable loss, where the absence of the lover has turned the speaker inward, making her body "my workshop." The phrase "tribe of myself" further emphasizes her isolation; she has been left alone, disconnected from the external world, and is now the sole inhabitant of her emotional landscape.

The recurring line "At night, alone, I marry the bed" serves as both a refrain and a declaration of the speaker's new reality. The bed, once a shared space of intimacy, has become the speaker's only companion, a substitute for the lost lover. The act of "marrying the bed" symbolizes the speaker’s desperate attempt to reclaim some semblance of connection, even if it is only with the cold sheets and the empty space beside her. This repetition of the phrase throughout the poem reinforces the monotony and inescapability of her loneliness.

Sexton’s use of stark, visceral imagery underscores the speaker's anguish. The lover is described as "beating her like a bell," a violent image that contrasts sharply with the usual associations of love and tenderness. The bed becomes a place of both refuge and torment, a site where the speaker replays the memories of her lost lover and where she must confront the emptiness left behind. The juxtaposition of the physicality of the body ("finger to finger," "flowered spread") with the absence of emotional connection highlights the speaker's inner turmoil.

The poem also delves into the social and psychological aspects of sexuality. In the stanza beginning with "Take for instance this night, my love," Sexton contrasts the solitary act of the speaker with the coupled bodies around her, engaged in the "abundant two on sponge and feather." This collective imagery of couples only intensifies the speaker’s sense of exclusion and alienation. The speaker’s act of self-pleasure becomes a form of resistance against this exclusion, but it is also a poignant reminder of what she has lost—her "annoying miracle" is a hollow substitute for true intimacy.

Sexton introduces a rival in the form of "the lady of water," who embodies both sexual and emotional threat. This rival is not just another woman but a symbol of the fluid, elusive nature of love and desire. The speaker compares herself to "the knock-kneed broom," an object of utility and insignificance, in stark contrast to the rival’s grace and allure. The metaphor of the "bargain dress" that the rival takes "off the rack" suggests the lover's new relationship is cheap and transient, further deepening the speaker's despair.

The final stanzas return to the theme of social and sexual disconnection. The speaker observes the "boys and girls" who are "one tonight," engaging in acts of passion and deception. The imagery of "glimmering creatures" who are "full of lies" suggests the superficiality and insincerity of these encounters, contrasting with the speaker’s own raw, unfiltered experience. The poem closes with the repeated refrain, driving home the sense of inescapable isolation and the hollow comfort of the bed, which is now the speaker's sole partner.

"The Ballad of the Lonely Masturbator" is a powerful meditation on the intersections of love, loss, and sexuality. Sexton’s vivid, often brutal imagery conveys the deep pain of solitude and the desperate search for connection in the aftermath of a broken relationship. The poem’s raw honesty and emotional intensity make it a poignant exploration of the human condition, where the physical and emotional realms are inextricably intertwined, and where the bed becomes both a symbol of solace and a stark reminder of loneliness.

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