Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Anne Sexton's "The Death of the Fathers: 2. How We Danced" intricately captures a moment of profound connection between the speaker and her father during a wedding, juxtaposing the beauty of their dance with the haunting presence of death. The poem reflects on this significant memory, intertwining it with themes of mortality, longing, and the complexities of familial relationships.

The poem begins by setting the scene at a cousin's wedding, where the speaker, clad in blue—a color often associated with melancholy—recalls dancing with her father. The image of them dancing, described as "orbiting," suggests an otherworldly, almost celestial experience, where they move with the grace and purity of "angels washing themselves." This initial portrayal of their dance is ethereal, hinting at the deep bond they share, one that transcends the ordinary.

As the dance progresses, the tone shifts, becoming more intense as they are described as "two birds on fire." This metaphor conveys a sense of passion, urgency, and perhaps a foreshadowing of destruction. The fire, a symbol of both vitality and danger, indicates that their connection, while powerful, is also fraught with complexities. The subsequent comparison of their movement to "the sea in a jar" suggests a containment of this passion, a slowing down, as if the intensity is being restrained, leading to a more subdued but still profound connection.

The poem's turning point comes with the reference to the song "Oh how we danced on the night we were." This line, echoing the nostalgia and sweetness of a past moment, contrasts sharply with the present reality, where the father is "laid out, useless as a blind dog." The father's death, or at least his incapacitation, is starkly juxtaposed with the vibrancy of the dance, highlighting the inevitable decline from life to death.

The memory of their dance is tinged with a sense of loss and longing as the speaker reflects on the "pure oxygen" they drank like champagne, a metaphor for the intoxicating and life-giving quality of their connection. The mention of "crystal glasses" and the "bride and groom" gripping each other "like nineteen-thirty marathon dancers" evokes a sense of permanence and timelessness, as if the dance—and by extension, their relationship—was something sacred and enduring, yet also exhausting and bound by time.

The poem then introduces the figure of the mother, who is portrayed as a "belle," dancing with twenty men, emphasizing her social grace and allure. In contrast, the father dances with the speaker in silence, the absence of words underscoring the depth and unspoken understanding between them. However, this connection is disrupted by the "serpent," a powerful symbol of temptation, sin, and betrayal. The serpent "woke up and pressed against me like a great god," transforming the dance from a pure, angelic experience into something more complex and darker. The comparison to "two lonely swans" suggests a deep, almost tragic bond, where the purity of their connection is overshadowed by the underlying tensions and unspoken desires.

"The Death of the Fathers: 2. How We Danced" masterfully intertwines the innocence and joy of a shared moment with the darker undercurrents of mortality and forbidden emotion. The dance, initially a symbol of connection and love, becomes a metaphor for the complex and sometimes troubling dynamics between the speaker and her father. The poem captures the bittersweet nature of memory, where moments of beauty are inextricably linked to loss and longing. In this way, Sexton explores the intricate and often painful ties that bind family members, revealing the ways in which love, memory, and death are forever intertwined.

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