Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Anne Sexton's poem "The Papa and Mama Dance" is a poignant exploration of familial relationships, memory, and the deep emotional bonds that intertwine love, conflict, and the shared experiences of childhood. Through vivid imagery and a complex interplay of emotions, Sexton delves into the connection between the speaker and her brother, examining how their shared past has shaped their present identities and the tensions that now exist between them.

The poem opens with a direct address to the brother, questioning his participation in war and his adherence to societal norms: "why can't you burn your bootsoles and your / draft card? How can you sit there saying yes / to war?" This immediate confrontation sets the tone for the poem, revealing the speaker's deep frustration and sadness at her brother's choices. The juxtaposition of the brother's "loveliness" with his willingness to engage in war underscores the conflict between the speaker's affection for him and her disapproval of his actions.

As the poem unfolds, Sexton introduces a series of nostalgic memories, evoking the childhood games and costumes that the siblings once shared. These memories are imbued with a sense of innocence and playfulness, yet they are also tinged with darker undertones. The "Papa-Mama dance" becomes a symbol of their childhood unity, a ritual that allowed them to escape the realities of the adult world and create their own shared fantasy. The mention of "costumes from the suitcase pasted lie de France" and "Papa's London Harness case" conjures images of a bygone era, filled with relics of their father's past travels and academic life. These objects, now stored in the attic, serve as a tangible link to their childhood and the roles they played within it.

The poem's imagery shifts between light-hearted recollection and a more ominous tone, particularly in the lines "bride black and black, black, black the groom?" and "me in my dress, / my nun's habit and you black as a hammer, a bourgeois / priest." The repetition of "black" and the reference to a priestly figure introduce a sense of foreboding, suggesting that the games they played were not merely innocent fun but also a way of grappling with darker, more complex emotions. The brother's "leaping and leaping and leaping" echoes the frenetic energy of these childhood games, while also hinting at an underlying desperation or restlessness.

The poem continues to explore the tension between love and conflict, as the speaker recalls moments of both tenderness and aggression. The brother, referred to as "Mr. Gunman," is depicted as a figure of both protection and threat. The line "your hands on my breast and all that sort of stuff" is particularly loaded, suggesting a blurring of boundaries between familial love and something more troubling. This moment of intimacy is juxtaposed with the brother's "inventing curses for your sister's pink, pink ear," highlighting the complexity of their relationship—one that oscillates between affection and hostility.

The speaker's plea for her brother to "dance one more" is a desperate attempt to recapture the closeness they once shared, even as she acknowledges the impossibility of fully returning to those moments. The reference to "black love" and the "Papa dress" reinforces the idea that their bond is inextricably linked to the roles and rituals of their childhood, roles that have now become distorted by time and their diverging paths in life. The repetition of "Papa and Mama did so. Can we do less?" suggests a longing for continuity and tradition, even as the speaker recognizes the futility of trying to recreate the past.

The poem's closing lines, with the brother "banging on the door" and the speaker lamenting, "YOU WON'T REMEMBER!," encapsulate the sense of loss and disconnection that now defines their relationship. The attic, once a space of shared memories, has become a place of burial, where the speaker is left alone to mourn the passing of their childhood and the bond that once united them.

"The Papa and Mama Dance" is a deeply introspective poem that captures the complexities of sibling relationships, the ways in which childhood experiences shape our identities, and the inevitable distance that can grow between loved ones as they navigate the adult world. Anne Sexton's use of vivid, sometimes unsettling imagery and her exploration of the tension between love and conflict make this poem a powerful meditation on memory, loss, and the enduring impact of the past.

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