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THE WEDDING RING DANCE, by             Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography

Anne Sexton’s poem "The Wedding Ring Dance" presents a powerful and intimate exploration of marriage, loss, and the act of letting go. Through vivid, almost surreal imagery, Sexton delves into the complexities of a relationship that has reached its end, capturing the physical and emotional unraveling that accompanies the dissolution of a long-term union. The poem is a meditation on the passage of time, the weight of shared history, and the painful process of stepping into an uncertain future.

The poem begins with the speaker "dancing in circles," an image that evokes the repetitive, cyclical nature of marriage and the rituals that sustain it. The marriage is metaphorically represented as a "moth," a fragile and ephemeral creature, "thin, sticky, fluttering / its skirts, its webs." The moth’s delicate, insubstantial nature suggests the fragility of the relationship, which, despite its outward appearances, is barely holding together. The image of the moth "oozing a tear, / or is it a drop of urine?" introduces a note of ambiguity, blending sorrow and a sense of degradation. This duality reflects the complex emotions associated with the end of a marriage, where love and disappointment coexist, and where the body’s physical responses—tears, urine—convey both vulnerability and a loss of control.

As the poem progresses, the moth takes on multiple symbolic roles, representing the speaker’s parents and former lover, and eventually transforming into a ghostly presence that "floats airily out of [her] hands." The moth, once an embodiment of the marriage, becomes a symbol of the collective influence of those closest to the speaker, hovering between the realms of the past and the present. The speaker’s dance slows as she begins to shed the symbols of her marriage, "pulling off the fat diamond engagement ring, / pulling off the elopement wedding ring." This act of removal is described as "a tiny rip of a tiny earthquake," a phrase that suggests the subtle yet profound impact of these actions. The earthquake metaphor evokes the deep, underlying shifts that accompany the dissolution of a marriage—the "violence, / the shift, the crack of continents, / the anger" that lies hidden beneath the surface, waiting to emerge.

Sexton’s imagery continues to underscore the tension between the internal and external realities of the marriage. The "half-inch space to stick a pencil in" represents the small but significant wound left behind by the removal of the rings, a space that is both physical and metaphorical. The finger, now "scared" and "numb," reflects the speaker’s emotional state—fearful yet resigned to the emptiness that remains. Despite this, the speaker continues to dance, performing "a sort of waltz," a dance that traditionally symbolizes unity and harmony, now rendered ironic by the context of separation. The repeated action of "clicking the two rings" against each other creates a sound that echoes the remnants of a shared life, now reduced to a "last cough," a faint echo of what once was.

The poem’s setting—a kitchen with "the same radio [playing] its songs"—provides a backdrop of mundane normalcy that contrasts with the profound personal upheaval the speaker is experiencing. The kitchen, often associated with domesticity and routine, becomes the stage for the speaker’s "undoing dance," a ritualistic shedding of the past. The date, "April 14th, 1973," grounds the poem in a specific moment in time, marking the transition from a life defined by the marriage to one that is "unknown / and transparent." The speaker’s act of "letting [her] history rip itself off" is an act of liberation, though not without its own pain and uncertainty.

In the final stanza, the speaker stretches out her "ten fingers," now free from the rings that once bound them, "flesh extended as metal / waiting for a magnet." This image of anticipation and openness suggests a readiness to embrace the future, even as the past leaves its "indent of twenty-five years" on the speaker’s body and soul. The "tiny rip leaving its mark" is a reminder that the experiences of the past, though they may be shed, continue to shape the present.

"The Wedding Ring Dance" is a deeply introspective and emotionally charged poem that captures the complexities of ending a long-term relationship. Sexton’s use of metaphor and imagery poignantly illustrates the process of disentangling oneself from the bonds of marriage, highlighting the physical and emotional toll of such an act. The poem’s structure, with its circular dance and gradual shedding of symbols, mirrors the process of coming to terms with loss and moving towards an uncertain, yet hopeful, future. Through this exploration, Sexton offers a powerful meditation on the nature of love, loss, and the resilience required to rebuild one’s life after the end of a significant relationship.


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