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THE SYMPATHIES OF THE LONG MARRIED, by             Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography

"The Sympathies of the Long Married" by Robert Bly is an ode to the enduring love and the subtle, profound connections that develop over a lifetime of shared experiences. Through evocative imagery and contemplative musings, Bly captures the essence of a deep, abiding relationship that transcends the need for constant excitement or novelty. The poem reflects on the simple, yet deeply meaningful, aspects of life that become the bedrock of a long marriage, celebrating the beauty of continuity and the quiet joys that come with familiarity.

The opening lines, "Oh well, let’s go on eating the grains of eternity," set a tone of contentment and acceptance, suggesting a willingness to partake in the ongoing flow of life without the restless pursuit of the new or the extraordinary. This sentiment is echoed in the dismissal of "improvements in travel" and the image of "Angels sometimes cross the river on old turtles," which together emphasize the value found in slowness, patience, and the appreciation of the journey itself, rather than the destination.

Bly's questioning, "Shall we worry about who gets left behind?" and the subsequent imagery of a single bird flying through the clouds, and a "sweet face at the door of the house," highlight the sufficiency of small, intimate moments in sustaining love and connection. These images serve as reminders of the significance of presence and the beauty that resides in the everyday.

The poem then shifts to more whimsical imagery, with "The two farm horses stubbornly pull the wagon" and "The mad crows carry away the tablecloth," portraying a scene of pastoral life that is both grounded and touched by the absurd. This contrast between the steadfast and the unpredictable reflects the dynamics of a long marriage, where stability and surprise coexist, enriching the relationship.

Bly's insistence that "Most of the time, we live through the night," and the subsequent stanzas that contemplate the acceptance of trouble, forgetfulness, and the continuance of "rough music," speak to the resilience and depth of understanding that develop over time. The poem acknowledges the challenges and imperfections inherent in life and love, yet finds beauty and strength in the shared experience of navigating them together.

In the final lines, Bly moves from a broader contemplation of human connections to a more intimate concern for the couple next door, suggesting a sense of community and empathy that extends beyond the individual relationship. The mention of "Some words heard through the screen door" captures the thin veil between private and shared experiences, highlighting the interconnectedness of human lives.

"The Sympathies of the Long Married" is a tender, reflective piece that celebrates the beauty of enduring love and the deep, often unspoken, understanding that comes with sharing a life. Bly's poem is a tribute to the quiet moments of connection, the resilience of the human spirit, and the profound joy found in companionship that stands the test of time.


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