Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

"The Lover" by Robert Creeley delves into themes of societal norms, gender expectations, and the personal experiences of intimacy and care within a relationship. Through the scenario of a young man purchasing a feminine hygiene product, Creeley explores the complexities of performing traditionally gendered roles and the societal discomfort that can accompany these actions. The poem reflects on the emotions and societal pressures that influence personal actions, especially those related to gender and intimacy.

The opening, "What should the young man say, because he is buying Modess?" immediately situates the reader in a moment of potential social discomfort and introspection. Modess, being a brand of feminine hygiene products, represents a direct confrontation with societal taboos regarding menstruation and the gendered expectations of who should engage with such products. The question posed reflects the uncertainty and awkwardness that can arise from transgressing invisible but deeply ingrained societal boundaries.

The consideration of whether the young man "Should he blush or not" introduces the dilemma of how to appropriately respond to a situation that society deems uncomfortable or unconventional for his gender. Blushing could signify embarrassment, acknowledging societal norms that suggest a man should feel uncomfortable in this scenario. Conversely, the absence of blushing could indicate a rejection of these norms and a comfort with his actions, despite societal expectations.

The suggestion to "turn coyly, his head, to one side, as if in the exactitude of his emotion he were not offended" further explores the nuanced responses available to the young man. This description evokes a delicate balancing act between acknowledging societal discomfort and maintaining personal dignity and confidence in his actions. The act of turning his head could be seen as a protective gesture, shielding himself from potential judgment, while also signaling a nuanced engagement with his emotions and the situation at hand.

The final question, "Were proud? Of what? To buy thing like that." pushes the reader to consider the sources of pride or shame in adhering to or deviating from gender roles. Creeley invites a reflection on the pride that might come from acting in care and support of a loved one, juxtaposed with the societal stigma that often surrounds men engaging in activities deemed feminine. This tension between personal pride and societal judgment encapsulates the poem's critique of the arbitrary and often restrictive nature of gender norms.

"The Lover" is a thought-provoking exploration of the intersection between personal actions, societal expectations, and the intimate spaces of relationships. Through its focus on a seemingly mundane act, Creeley illuminates the broader implications of gender norms and the complexities of navigating them in everyday life. The poem challenges readers to reconsider their own responses to societal taboos and the ways in which acts of care and intimacy can transcend traditional gender boundaries.

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