Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

"Self-Portrait" by Robert Creeley is a stark and introspective exploration of aging, identity, and the desire for authenticity in the face of existential disillusionment. Through the lens of a character who seeks to embody a certain rugged, unapologetic version of old age, Creeley delves into themes of rejection, self-acceptance, and the complex interplay between love and hate. The poem's raw honesty and minimalist style underscore the intensity of the speaker's internal struggle and his defiant stance against societal expectations and superficial connections.

The poem opens with a declaration of the character's desire to be "a brutal old man, / an aggressive old man," setting the tone for a meditation on the allure of embodying a persona that rejects compromise and niceties. This opening reveals a deep-seated frustration with the emptiness the speaker perceives around him, suggesting that his embrace of brutality and aggression is as much a response to external conditions as it is an assertion of personal identity.

The speaker's rejection of compromise and his refusal to be "ever nice / to anyone" highlight a broader rejection of societal norms and the superficial interactions that often define human relationships. The emphasis on being "mean, / and final in his brutal, / his total, rejection of it all" speaks to a profound disillusionment with the world and a desire to assert control over one's existence by eschewing the expected roles and behaviors that come with aging.

Creeley then contrasts this desired persona with the speaker's past attempts at sweetness, gentleness, and connection ("the sweet, / the gentle, the 'oh, / let’s hold hands together'"). The characterization of these attempts as "awful, / dull, brutally inconsequential" underscores the speaker's disappointment with the superficiality and insufficiency of such gestures, reinforcing his turn towards a more solitary and defiant stance.

The poem shifts to a more physical and vulnerable reflection on aging, as the speaker acknowledges his "own dwindling legs" and the daily shrinking of "His arms, his skin." This acknowledgment of physical decline contrasts with the earlier desire for toughness and rejection, revealing the inescapable vulnerability that comes with aging. Despite his defiant attitude, the speaker cannot escape the physical realities of his body's changes.

The concluding line, "he loves, but hates equally," encapsulates the poem's exploration of the complexities of human emotion and identity. This ambivalence towards love and hate reflects the speaker's internal conflict and the difficulty of navigating a world that often demands conformity and superficial engagement. It suggests a struggle to find a balance between the desire for authenticity and the inevitable need for connection and affection.

"Self-Portrait" is a powerful examination of the self in the context of aging, societal expectations, and the search for meaning. Creeley's use of a direct, unflinching voice and stark imagery invites readers to reflect on their own perceptions of aging, identity, and the deep-seated desires that drive us to embrace or reject the roles we are given. The poem challenges us to consider the complexities of our inner landscapes and the ways in which we negotiate the tension between authenticity and societal pressures.

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