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In the poem "Used," Rita Dove delves into the societal pressures on women regarding body image and the expectations surrounding motherhood, aging, and sexuality. The poem combines a critique of these external pressures with a personal narrative that adds depth and individual perspective to the broader themes.

The opening lines of the poem confront the societal obsession with thinness, with Dove noting, "The conspiracy's to make us thin. Size threes / are all the rage," immediately setting the tone for a discussion on body image. The reference to "skirts ballooning above twinkling knees" as "every man-child's preadolescent dream" further highlights the sexualization and objectification embedded in fashion trends and societal expectations of women. This sets up a dialogue on how women's bodies are viewed and judged, often in a manner disconnected from their own desires or self-perception.

Dove introduces a powerful counter to this external narrative with the line "Tabla rasa. No slate's that clean—," rejecting the notion that women can or should conform to a pristine, unmarked ideal. She asserts that women carry their histories in their bodies, particularly noting, "we've earned the navels sunk in grief / when the last child emptied us of their brief / interior light." This imagery poignantly captures the physical and emotional marks left by motherhood, framing them as badges of life experience rather than flaws to be erased.

The phrase "Our muscles say We have been used" is particularly striking, suggesting both utility and exploitation. It underscores a feeling of being consumed or utilized by others—whether by children, partners, or society—and points to a deeper sense of weariness and recognition of the physical and emotional labor that women often bear.

The narrative shifts to a more personal anecdote about trying silk sheets, introduced as an attempt to alleviate "postnatal dread." This switch to a domestic setting underscores the theme of personal comfort and self-care, albeit with an outcome that underlines the impracticality of such luxury: "We couldn't hang on, slipped / to the floor and by morning the quilts / had slid off, too." This experience metaphorically parallels the broader themes of striving for and failing to maintain societal standards of beauty and success.

Dove concludes with a dismissal of guilt, stating, "Enough of guilt-- / It's hard work staying cool." This line serves as a rejection of the shame often imposed on women for their appearance, their aging, and their choices. It is a call for self-acceptance and a recognition of the effort required to navigate the pressures of societal expectations.

Overall, "Used" is a powerful meditation on the experiences of women as they navigate the expectations placed upon their bodies and lives. Rita Dove combines societal critique with personal narrative to explore themes of aging, motherhood, and self-identity, ultimately advocating for a rejection of guilt and an embrace of one’s lived experiences.


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