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ABOUT FACE, by                 Poet's Biography

Alice Fulton's poem "About Face" delves into the complex interplay of embarrassment, identity, and societal expectations. Through a mixture of introspection and cultural observation, Fulton examines how individuals navigate their self-consciousness and the ways they project themselves to the world.

The opening lines, "Because life's too short to blush, / I keep my blood tucked in," set the tone for the speaker's determined avoidance of embarrassment. This decision to withhold visible signs of shame or discomfort suggests a desire to maintain control over one's emotional responses. The metaphor of keeping one's blood "tucked in" evokes an image of internalizing and suppressing natural reactions, indicating a conscious effort to present a composed exterior.

Fulton juxtaposes this controlled demeanor with the image of statues "posing only / in their shoulder pads of snow." Statues, often symbols of stoicism and permanence, are depicted as unaffected by external changes, "working on their granite tans." This personification of statues highlights their ability to remain indifferent and unembarrassed, serving as a model for the speaker's own aspirations of emotional invulnerability.

The poem transitions to a personal anecdote: "That I woke at an ungainly hour, / stripped of the merchandise that clothed me, / distilled to pure suchness." Here, the speaker reveals a moment of vulnerability, being stripped of societal markers of identity and status, yet this exposure "means not enough to anyone" for a confession. The use of the word "suchness" suggests an existential state of being, unadorned by material possessions or social facades.

Fulton explores the concept of taste and its relationship to embarrassment, noting that an "excess of taste / that spells embarrassment" can lead to self-consciousness. She contrasts generational differences in taste and perception, with mothers finding their children's fashion choices, such as "condom earrings," unseemly, while girls fear becoming as frumpish as their mothers. This dynamic underscores the perpetual cycle of judgment and self-critique that shapes individual identities.

The poem's reference to Elvis Presley, particularly his later years, adds another layer to the exploration of public perception and personal dignity. Describing the "late nonerotic Elvis / in his studded gut of jumpsuit," Fulton captures the discomfort and pity elicited by his decline. The statement "Rule one: the King must not elicit pity" underscores the societal expectation that public figures maintain their grandeur, avoiding any display of vulnerability that could diminish their mythic status.

Fulton then poses a question about the audience's reaction to Elvis: "Was the audience afraid of being tainted / ―this might rub off on me― / or were they―surrendering― / what a femme word―feeling / solicitous―glimpsing their fragility?" This inquiry delves into the psychology of spectatorship, suggesting that people may project their fears of vulnerability onto others while simultaneously recognizing their shared human fragility.

The poem concludes with a nuanced perspective on embarrassment, describing it as "intimacy for beginners, / the orgasm no one cares to fake." This comparison highlights the raw, unfiltered nature of embarrassment, which, unlike other social interactions, cannot be easily feigned. The speaker's ambivalence toward embarrassment—"I almost admire it. I almost wrote despise"—reflects a recognition of its authenticity and its power to reveal genuine aspects of the self.

"About Face" is a thought-provoking exploration of how individuals navigate the terrain of self-consciousness and societal expectations. Through vivid imagery and cultural references, Alice Fulton captures the tension between maintaining a composed exterior and confronting the inherent vulnerabilities that define the human experience. The poem ultimately suggests that while embarrassment is an unavoidable part of life, it also offers a unique form of intimacy and authenticity.


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