Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Anne Sexton's "And One for My Dame" is a vivid, introspective poem that delves into themes of legacy, identity, and the complexities of familial relationships. The poem juxtaposes the life of the speaker's father, a successful salesman, with her own existence, exploring how the father’s life and career have shaped her understanding of the world and her place in it.

The poem opens with a description of the speaker's father as a "born salesman" who made his fortune selling wool to prominent companies. The repetition of "a born" emphasizes his natural talent and the inevitability of his career choice. This man, skilled in the art of persuasion, is depicted as someone who could "sell one hundred wet-down bales / of that white stuff" with ease. The specificity of the wool industry—"Fieldcrest, Woolrich and Faribo"—grounds the poem in a particular socio-economic reality, reflecting the father’s ability to navigate and succeed within a tangible, commercial world.

Sexton contrasts this professional success with the father’s role at home, where every word he spoke had been "tried over and over" in the business world before being brought to the dinner table. The father's dual identity as both a provider and a salesman underscores the blurring of his professional and personal lives. His ability to "sell" not just wool but also ideas, emotions, and authority at home suggests that his success in business permeated every aspect of his identity.

The poem's tone shifts as the speaker reflects on her own position in the family. She describes herself as "gauche" with an "old-maid heart," feeling awkward and out of place compared to her father's confident, worldly demeanor. The father’s obsession with maps and itineraries, along with the backdrop of World War II—"the radio fought its battles with Nazis and Japs"—highlights his focus on movement, progress, and the external world, in contrast to the speaker’s more introspective nature.

The father’s periodic retreats into his bedroom for a "three-day drunk" reveal a darker side of his character, suggesting that his outward success may have been accompanied by inner turmoil. His meticulous planning of travel itineraries—"packed his trunk, / his matched luggage / and pocketed a confirmed reservation"—symbolizes his need for control and order, perhaps as a way to manage or escape his inner demons.

As the poem progresses, the speaker draws a parallel between her father and her husband, who also works in the wool industry. This connection between the two men suggests that the speaker’s life has come full circle; she is now married to someone who embodies the same traits as her father. The husband's work with wool, described in detail—"boxes of card waste, laps and rovings he can pull / to the thread"—mirrors the father's business, reinforcing the idea of inherited roles and identities.

The poem concludes with the image of the husband driving off on business, his "sample cases branded with my father’s name." This line symbolizes the continuation of the father's legacy through the husband, as if the speaker is bound to repeat the patterns of her past. The husband's itinerary, "its tolls ticking and greedy, / its highways built up like new loves, raw and speedy," captures the relentless pace of life and the emotional costs of living in the shadow of a powerful, dominating figure.

In "And One for My Dame," Anne Sexton explores the intricate dynamics of family relationships, particularly the ways in which a father’s life and career can shape the identities of those around him. The poem’s rich imagery and careful attention to detail convey a deep sense of ambivalence—both admiration and resentment—toward the father figure. Through the lens of her own experience, the speaker reflects on the burdens and legacies passed down through generations, highlighting the tension between personal desires and familial expectations.

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