Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Alicia Suskin Ostriker’s poem "The Idea of Making Love" is a sensual and metaphorical exploration of intimacy and the mutual exchange of desire and fulfillment between lovers. The poem uses the imagery of nectar and the act of tasting it from a flower's calyx to convey the reciprocal nature of love and physical connection. Through its vivid and tactile language, the poem delves into the cyclical and generative aspects of love, highlighting the way desire is both satiated and renewed through intimate exchange.

The poem begins with the comparison of making love to "sticking your tongue / into the calyx of the other / & licking up / its nectar." The calyx, the protective layer of a flower, is a delicate and intimate part of the blossom, suggesting that love involves both vulnerability and trust. The act of licking up the nectar, a sweet and nourishing substance, symbolizes the pleasure derived from intimate connection, as well as the deep, instinctual satisfaction that comes from being close to another person. The sensuality of this image is heightened by the reciprocity implied in the phrase "while being licked oneself," indicating that love is not just about taking but also about giving, and that true fulfillment comes from this mutual exchange.

The speaker reflects on why "we / love this," pointing to the fact that humans are "always manufacturing / nectar." This metaphor suggests that the capacity for love and desire is inherent and continuous, a natural part of our being that is always available and ready to be shared. The process of creating nectar can be seen as a metaphor for the emotions, energy, and passion that we generate within ourselves, which we offer to others in the act of love. The poem underscores the idea that love is a dynamic process, one in which both partners contribute to the creation and sharing of pleasure.

The poem continues to explore the cyclical nature of this exchange: "when someone sticks a pointy tongue / into us and takes a drop / on the tongue-tip and / swallows it / we make more nectar." Here, the act of giving and receiving love is shown to be self-sustaining; the more we share our inner selves with others, the more we are able to generate and offer. The image of swallowing nectar, a gesture of acceptance and integration, emphasizes the deep connection that forms through such intimate acts. Love, in this sense, is depicted as a renewable resource—one that grows and flourishes the more it is shared.

The final lines, "we can always / make more / of our own nectar and / are always thirsty for the nectar of others," reinforce the endless cycle of desire and fulfillment. The capacity to create and share love is infinite, and with it comes an insatiable thirst for the love and connection that others can provide. This mutual dependency is not portrayed as a weakness, but rather as a fundamental and beautiful aspect of human nature—the idea that our need for others, and their need for us, is what drives the constant regeneration of love and intimacy.

"The Idea of Making Love" is a celebration of the pleasures and the generative power of intimacy. Through its use of rich, sensual imagery, Ostriker captures the essence of love as a dynamic and reciprocal process, one that is both deeply personal and universally human. The poem invites the reader to appreciate the beauty of this exchange and to recognize the continuous, life-affirming cycle of desire and fulfillment that underpins our connections with others.

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