Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Alicia Suskin Ostriker’s poem "Misery and Frustration" intricately weaves together themes of recovery, personal transformation, and the complex relationship we have with our own suffering. Through a blend of metaphor, introspection, and subtle humor, the poem explores the difficult process of letting go of the familiar—even when what is familiar is painful—and opening oneself up to new possibilities. Ostriker uses the personification of "Misery and frustration" as "good drinking buddies" to explore the paradoxical comfort found in long-standing emotional pain, while also considering the broader implications of personal growth and healing.

The poem begins with a reflection on wisdom: "They say one part of wisdom / Is learning to let go when you have to." This opening acknowledges a common adage about wisdom being tied to the ability to release what no longer serves us. However, the speaker quickly complicates this notion by introducing the idea of "good drinking buddies / Misery and frustration." These emotions, while typically unwelcome, have become familiar companions—so familiar, in fact, that the speaker worries about what else might be lost if they are let go. This hesitation reflects the deeply ingrained attachment to suffering that can develop over time, where even negative feelings are difficult to relinquish because they are known quantities, providing a strange sense of security.

The speaker then turns to the idea of recovery, expressing a concern that isn’t often addressed in typical support groups: "There is this problem with recovery / You'd like to mention to your counselor, / If you could find the right moment, because / The group somehow doesn't seem to touch it." Here, the speaker hints at a deeper, more personal fear—that letting go of these familiar pains might lead to a loss of something vital. The fear that "your sex life go blank like a movie screen / After the feature, your brain / Lapse from keen, your art depart" speaks to a common anxiety that healing might come at the cost of creativity, passion, or other aspects of life that are deeply valued. The reference to "Antony's gods" evokes the image of something divine or essential slipping away, further emphasizing the gravity of the speaker’s concern.

The poem then introduces a shift in tone with the line, "Then there's the issue of brutality." The speaker acknowledges the difficulty of being "mean" to emotions that have been "loyal pals for years." This personification of misery and frustration underscores the idea that, despite their negative impact, these emotions have provided a kind of companionship. The speaker’s reflection on their "gardening arts and skills" as a metaphor for carefully untangling these emotions highlights the delicate process of recovery. The imagery of "tendrils" with a "tensile grip" evokes the persistence and resilience of these emotions, as well as the difficulty of removing them without causing harm.

Ostriker then reveals the darker truth about these emotions: "What you can't tell is that they're parasites, / Thieves and killers." This realization marks a turning point in the poem, where the speaker recognizes that, despite their familiarity, misery and frustration are ultimately destructive forces that need to be dealt with. The advice to "carry them off to the forest, / Which will slowly eat them" offers a more natural, gentle approach to letting go—suggesting that these emotions can be returned to the broader cycle of life, where they will be broken down and transformed over time. The reference to "What Wordsworth called the life of things" connects this process to the natural world, implying that even pain and frustration have their place in the grander scheme of existence.

The poem also touches on the importance of ritual in the process of healing, as seen in the description of the "men's sweathouse" and the woman who "buried her uterus / After her hysterectomy." These rituals, whether formal or personal, provide a way to honor and release what has been lost or removed. The speaker acknowledges that "at least you've learned to cry," a sign of progress and emotional release, even if it is not the full resolution they might seek.

In the closing lines, the poem returns to the theme of wisdom, offering a counterpoint to the idea of letting go: "They say another part of wisdom / Is opening, letting things in not go, making welcome." This shift emphasizes the importance of being receptive to new experiences and emotions, of unbuttoning and unloosing the "stubborn / Doors from their jambs." The speaker’s acknowledgment that "that's a knowledge you already know" suggests that, deep down, the speaker is aware of the need to balance letting go with welcoming the new, even if it remains a difficult process.

"Misery and Frustration" is a powerful exploration of the complexities of personal growth, the pain of letting go, and the need to remain open to new possibilities. Through its rich imagery and thoughtful metaphors, the poem captures the paradoxical nature of human emotions, where even our suffering can become something we cling to out of fear of the unknown. Ostriker’s poem ultimately encourages a gentle, compassionate approach to both letting go and embracing change, acknowledging the challenges while also offering hope for renewal.

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