Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Alicia Suskin Ostriker's poem "Sex" is a poignant and layered exploration of the complexities of motherhood, the passage of time, and the painful yet inevitable process of a daughter’s sexual awakening and independence. Through vivid imagery and a haunting, almost dreamlike narrative, Ostriker delves into the inner conflict of a mother who watches her daughter approach a critical juncture in her life, symbolized by the carousel—an emblem of both childhood innocence and the onset of adult experiences.

The poem opens with a simple, yet evocative image: "I see the bare feet on the warm boardwalk / Are my long-haired daughter's." This introduction immediately grounds the reader in a specific, sensory moment—the warmth of the boardwalk, the sight of a familiar pair of feet—while also setting up the emotional distance between the mother and daughter. The mother's reluctance to "look above them" or "speak" suggests a hesitation to fully confront the reality of her daughter's burgeoning independence and sexuality. This reluctance is intertwined with a deep sense of nostalgia, as the mother’s thoughts drift to "silvered wood, white sand, cold surf," elements that evoke a timeless, serene setting, contrasting sharply with the tension she feels in the present moment.

The description of the daughter’s "small toes curl[ing]," "sand streak[ing]" her "downy legs," and her "cotton hemline droop[ing]" portrays her as on the cusp of womanhood, still somewhat childlike but moving towards something more adult and potentially perilous. The vulnerability suggested by these details—the softness of the toes, the drooping hemline—reflects the mother’s awareness of her daughter’s innocence and the inevitable loss that comes with growing up.

The central image of the "early twentieth-century carousel" serves as a powerful metaphor for the cyclical nature of life, the transition from innocence to experience, and the mingling of joy and danger that accompanies this shift. The carousel, with its "ghostly music" and "riders, men and women, surging and hawing," evokes a sense of both nostalgia and foreboding. The riders, who are "surging" with energy and "hawing" as if in a game of chance, represent the adults who have already engaged in the dance of life, love, and sexuality. The carousel’s motion symbolizes the inevitable pull of time, drawing the daughter into the next phase of her life.

The daughter’s readiness to "leap onto it" and her act of "flex[ing] / Herself for that fatality" captures the moment of decision, the readiness to embrace adulthood with all its risks and rewards. The use of the word "fatality" is significant, suggesting that this leap is not just a step forward but a profound, irreversible change. The daughter is about to "seize / A bar" and "climb onto a painted horse," symbols of the choices she will make and the roles she will assume as she navigates the complexities of adult life, including her sexuality.

The poem takes a more introspective turn as the mother reflects on her daughter’s inability to perceive "Either the silent mother watching her / Or the mother on the carousel, waving and calling." This dual image of the mother—both as an observer, helpless to intervene, and as a participant, perhaps a representation of the mother’s own past self—highlights the emotional distance and the generational gap between them. The silent mother watches, filled with concern and love, while the mother on the carousel—an echo of her younger self—waves and calls, trying to connect with her daughter across the divide of experience.

This disconnect underscores the pain of motherhood: the knowledge that despite all the love and guidance a mother provides, there comes a point where the daughter must make her own choices, often unaware or indifferent to the mother’s presence and advice. The carousel’s cyclical motion mirrors this ongoing cycle of separation and reunion, of growing up and looking back.

In "Sex," Ostriker masterfully captures the bittersweet essence of a mother watching her daughter step into adulthood, with all the accompanying joys and dangers. The poem’s rich imagery and symbolic depth explore the tension between protection and independence, innocence and experience, and the inevitable distance that time creates between parent and child. Through this powerful meditation on the passage of time and the complexity of maternal love, Ostriker offers a profound reflection on the challenges and beauty of letting go.

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