Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Karen Fleur Adcock's "Causes: A Hymn to Friendship" is a witty, sharp, and ultimately affectionate exploration of the complexities and contradictions inherent in friendship. The poem delves into the peculiar mechanisms by which friends are chosen—or seemingly stumbled upon—and contrasts these relationships with family ties and fleeting romantic bonds. Through her characteristic humor and incisive observations, Adcock celebrates the resilience and peculiar logic of friendship, while also acknowledging its occasional absurdities.

The poem begins with a wry observation: “Somehow we manage it: to like our friends.” This sets the tone, suggesting that friendship, while rewarding, often requires patience and endurance. The poet humorously acknowledges the quirks, neuroses, and oddities of friends, which we accept with a resigned smile and phrases like, “Oh well, it’s one of his funny days.” The lighthearted tone belies a deeper truth about human relationships—that they thrive on tolerance and understanding, even when dealing with behaviors that might otherwise exasperate us.

Adcock contrasts the chosen relationships of friendship with the imposed ones of family. Families, she notes, are “traditionally awful,” and their often embarrassing dynamics provide a “training-ground” for dealing with the eccentricities of friends. This comparison highlights the voluntary nature of friendship, a bond forged not out of obligation but mutual choice. However, the poet suggests that this choice is less deliberate than it seems; friends are often those who happen to be in proximity—schoolmates, neighbors, or colleagues.

The poem then humorously questions why certain people become our friends while others, who might physically resemble them, do not. Adcock conjures vivid images of “the woman in the library” or “the one on Budgen’s delicatessen counter” as potential doppelgängers of our actual friends. Yet she concludes that these look-alikes would not suffice as substitutes. Friendship, it seems, transcends surface similarities, rooted instead in shared experiences and mutual understanding.

Adcock’s humor shines in her hypothetical scenarios involving these impostors. She imagines sharing a tent with a snoring doppelgänger or enduring their marital woes and concludes that the bonds of friendship cannot be replicated by mere resemblance. These amusing vignettes underline the unique history and resilience that real friendships embody. Friends, she suggests, are those with whom we have weathered crises, from student parties involving “ethyl alcohol punch and methedrine” to more mature tribulations like divorces and roof collapses.

The poet explores the peculiar intimacy of friendship, noting the ways in which friends tolerate and forgive each other’s faults. Friends will forgive insults to their novels or children, she claims, while kindly strangers might not. The poem’s humor is particularly sharp when Adcock envisions confessing to a friend that she had once slept with their husband, only to note with relief that such confessions are survivable within the sturdy framework of true friendship.

The latter part of the poem reflects on the unchosen yet enduring nature of friendships. Adcock wryly observes that neither party might have actively chosen the other, yet “something keeps us hooked.” This “link,” as she calls it, is both mysterious and essential, as strong as familial bonds but, she notes with evident relief, “far more permanent...than marriage.” This line underscores the stability of friendship in a world where other relationships often falter.

Adcock’s language throughout the poem is conversational and laced with humor, making her reflections both accessible and poignant. The rhythm and structure are fluid, mirroring the unpredictability of the subject matter. Her use of imagery, from the “heavy jowls and thinning hair” of aging friends to the vivid recollection of a student party gone awry, evokes the passage of time and the shared history that cements friendships.

"Causes: A Hymn to Friendship" is both a celebration and a playful critique of friendship. Adcock acknowledges the flaws and frustrations of friends while affirming their irreplaceable role in our lives. Through humor and sharp insight, she captures the resilience, tolerance, and deep affection that sustain these chosen bonds. The poem ultimately suggests that while friendships may not always be perfect or deliberate, they are among the most enduring and meaningful connections we create.

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