Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

John Ashbery's "At First I Thought I Wouldn't Say Anything About It" is a poetic exploration of introspection, ambiguity, and the complexities of communication and perception. The poem, infused with Ashbery's distinctive blend of the surreal and the conversational, navigates through a series of shifting scenes and emotions, reflecting the fluidity of thought and experience.

The opening lines immediately establish a tone of hesitancy and reconsideration: "but then I thought keeping quiet about it might appear even / ruder." This sets up a theme of the poem, which is the speaker's internal debate over whether to express their thoughts and feelings. The idea of silence being interpreted as rudeness suggests the nuanced dynamics of social interaction and the pressure to conform to certain expectations.

The whimsical notion of initially thinking "I had died and gone to heaven" only to be corrected by "that scapegrace the unruly sun" introduces a playful yet profound reflection on the nature of reality and perception. The sun, personified as a mischievous disruptor, serves as a metaphor for the external forces that constantly challenge and shape our understanding of the world.

The speaker's mention of being a beekeeper in "heavyset pants" and not yet meeting a bee adds a touch of the absurd, highlighting the disjunction between expectation and reality. This could be seen as a commentary on the roles we assume in life and the often unpredictable nature of our experiences.

The phrase "Bulgarian choirs everywhere stood up and sang the song of the / rent" continues the surreal imagery, evoking a sense of universality in the mundane concerns of life, such as paying rent. This could be interpreted as a reflection on the shared human experiences that unite us, despite the diversity of our individual lives.

The declaration of taking a short vacation as "proof that I am needed here" suggests a paradoxical relationship with one's environment and responsibilities. It speaks to the human desire for validation and purpose, as well as the tension between presence and absence.

The speaker's belief that "Nobody wants my two cents / anymore" conveys a sense of alienation or irrelevance, a common theme in Ashbery's poetry. This feeling of being out of step with others or undervalued is contrasted with the imagery of skating in summer and an exploding turret, symbols of incongruity and sudden disruption.

The poem concludes with a preference for "flowers and / breathing" over social engagements that require post-analysis. This choice for simpler, more authentic experiences over constructed social interactions encapsulates the poem's exploration of authenticity versus performance in human relationships.

In "At First I Thought I Wouldn't Say Anything About It," Ashbery crafts a narrative that is both enigmatic and deeply resonant, inviting the reader to navigate the layers of meaning within its lines. The poem stands as a reflection on the complexities of communication, perception, and the human desire for connection and understanding in a world that is often perplexing and unpredictable.

POEM TEXT:

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Can_You_Hear_Bird/RCl5BAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1

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