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Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

HISTORY OF MY LIFE, by             Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography


"History of My Life" by John Ashbery is a poignant reflection on the passage of time, the loss of innocence, and the search for identity and meaning in life. The poem's narrative structure and its contemplation of personal history offer insights into the universal human experience of growing older and confronting the complexities of life.

The opening lines, "Once upon a time there were two brothers. / Then there was only one: myself," immediately introduce themes of loss and solitude. The transition from plurality to singularity suggests a departure from childhood, possibly through the loss of a sibling or the metaphorical loss of a part of oneself that occurs with the end of childhood.

"I grew up fast, before learning to drive, / even, there was I: a stinking adult" – these lines capture the abruptness with which innocence is lost and adulthood is attained. The phrase "a stinking adult" conveys a sense of resentment or disappointment towards the adult self, perhaps indicating a nostalgia for the simplicity and purity of childhood.

"I thought of developing interests / someone might take an interest in. No soap." Here, the speaker reflects on the struggle to find a meaningful identity or to engage in pursuits that would make him appealing to others. The colloquial expression "No soap" implies failure or lack of success in these endeavors.

"I became very weepy for what had seemed / like the pleasant early years. As I aged / increasingly, I also grew more charitable / with regard to my thoughts and ideas," – these lines suggest a growing awareness and acceptance of one's own thoughts and values with age. The speaker becomes more forgiving and understanding of himself, indicating a maturation of self-perception.

The concluding image of "a great devouring cloud / came and loitered on the horizon, drinking / it up for what seemed like months or years" is particularly evocative. It could symbolize the looming presence of mortality, the passage of time, or the inevitable challenges and uncertainties of life that overshadow our existence.

Overall, "History of My Life" is a reflective and introspective poem that deals with the themes of aging, self-acceptance, and the inexorable passage of time. Ashbery's use of straightforward language, interspersed with metaphorical imagery, creates a powerful narrative that resonates with the universal human experience of growing up and facing the realities of life.

POEM TEXT: https://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php%3Fdate=2006%252F07%252F01.html


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