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I AM ON MY WAY TO OKLAHOMA TO BURY THE MAN, by             Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography

"I Am On My Way to Oklahoma to Bury the Man I Nearly Left My Husband For" by Sandra Cisneros is a poignant exploration of love, loss, and the roads not taken. Through this reflective narrative poem, Cisneros delves into the complex emotions surrounding a past love affair and the enduring impact of choices made and unmade. Set against the backdrop of a journey to say a final goodbye, the poem weaves a tapestry of memory, longing, and the bittersweet acceptance of life's impermanence.

The poem opens with a dismissal of names as irrelevant, emphasizing the universal nature of the experience it describes: "Your name doesn’t matter. / I loved you. / We loved." This introduction sets the stage for a deeply personal yet relatable story of love that transcends the specifics of identity, focusing instead on the emotional truth of the connection shared.

The imagery of waiting "by the river for your pickup / truck to find me" captures a sense of anticipation and the longing for a love that promises escape or transformation. The scattered footprints in the yellow sand symbolize both the physical presence and the ephemeral nature of the relationship, a mark left on the speaker's life that is as fleeting as it is indelible. The mention of the husband, mother-in-law, and kids wondering about the speaker's whereabouts introduces the tension between duty and desire, the life chosen and the life imagined.

The poem reflects on the dynamics of the relationship, marked by a push and pull between wanting and withholding: "You wouldn’t / the years I begged. Would / the years I wouldn’t." This dance of desire and denial underscores the complexity of human relationships, the alternating currents of passion and pragmatism, and the singular clarity that seems to grace only one partner at a time.

In declaring "I won’t see you again," the speaker acknowledges the finality of death and the closure it brings to the possibility of rekindled love or reconciliation. The poem contemplates the nature of choices, the wisdom gained with time, and the pain that often accompanies the most "sensible" decisions. The repetition of "smarter over the years" suggests a resigned acceptance of the lessons learned, albeit with a lingering sting of regret.

The speaker's life is described as a "deed I have / done to artistic extreme," suggesting that the intensity and drama of her emotions and experiences have shaped her existence into a work of art. This characterization elevates the personal narrative to a broader commentary on the human condition, where love, loss, and longing are integral to the canvas of life.

The final lines of the poem, "Must wake / early. Ride north tomorrow. / Send you off. Are you fine? / I think of you often, friend, / and fondly," convey a sense of moving forward while carrying the past within. The journey to Oklahoma symbolizes both a physical and emotional pilgrimage, a gesture of farewell not only to the man but to a chapter of the speaker's life. The tender address to the deceased as "friend" and the expression of fond remembrance underscore the enduring affection and the complex web of feelings that survive beyond the relationship's end.

"I Am On My Way to Oklahoma to Bury the Man I Nearly Left My Husband For" is a meditation on the intricate tapestry of human emotion, the indelible marks left by love, and the acceptance of life's impermanence. Cisneros captures the heartache and beauty of looking back on what was and what might have been, offering a narrative that resonates with anyone who has ever loved and lost. Through its exploration of memory, choice, and the passage of time, the poem invites readers to reflect on their own journeys of love, regret, and acceptance.

POEM TEXT:  https://www.best-poems.net/sandra-cisneros/i-am-on-my-way-to-oklahoma-to-bury-the-man-i-nearly-left-my-husband-for.html


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