Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Gregory Corso’s "Writ on the Eve of My 32nd Birthday" is a reflective, candid, and characteristically playful meditation on aging, identity, and the role of poetry in the poet’s life. Written in an unadorned, conversational style, the poem reads like a journal entry or a stream-of-consciousness confession, blending humor, vulnerability, and self-awareness. Corso’s tone oscillates between self-deprecating wit and sincere introspection, allowing him to explore personal insecurities and accomplishments without succumbing to sentimentality. At its core, the poem is an exploration of the tension between youthful exuberance and the creeping self-awareness that comes with age.

The poem opens with a simple, declarative statement: "I am 32 years old / and finally I look my age, if not more." This sets the tone for the poem’s central preoccupation with aging and self-perception. The admission that he not only looks his age but perhaps even older is delivered with a mixture of resignation and humor, immediately drawing the reader into Corso’s honest, unfiltered reflections. This opening also hints at a broader theme: the confrontation between the external signs of aging and the internal sense of self, a tension that runs throughout the poem.

Corso’s musings on his physical appearance continue with a series of self-conscious questions: "Is it a good face what’s no more a boy’s face? / It seems fatter. And my hair, / it’s stopped being curly. Is my nose big?" These observations are delivered in a casual, almost offhand manner, reflecting the poet’s ambivalence toward his changing appearance. The shift from specific details—like his hair losing its curl—to more subjective concerns—like whether his nose is big—illustrates the often irrational nature of self-scrutiny. However, despite these insecurities, Corso finds solace in one aspect of his appearance: "the eyes, ah the eyes get better all the time." This suggests that while the superficial signs of aging may be unsettling, there is a deeper, perhaps more profound growth taking place. The eyes, often seen as windows to the soul, symbolize a maturing perspective or a deeper understanding of the self.

The poem shifts from physical self-reflection to a broader consideration of Corso’s life circumstances: "32 and no wife, no baby; no baby hurts, / but there’s lots of time." This candid admission reveals a longing for certain traditional milestones, such as fatherhood, while simultaneously downplaying the urgency of these desires. The phrase "but there’s lots of time" suggests an attempt to reassure himself, reflecting the common tension between societal expectations and personal timelines.

Corso then addresses how his behavior has changed over time: "I don’t act silly any more. / And because of it I have to hear from so-called friends: / 'You’ve changed. You used to be so crazy so great.'" This highlights a common experience of aging—the pressure to remain consistent with one’s past self, especially when that past self was characterized by youthful exuberance or rebellion. Corso’s friends’ discomfort with his seriousness suggests that they valued his previous, more carefree persona, and their comments reflect a resistance to his growth. His dismissive response—“Let them go to the Radio City Music Hall”—implies that he sees their expectations as superficial, akin to seeking entertainment rather than genuine connection.

The poem moves into a broader reflection on Corso’s life experiences: "32; saw all of Europe, met millions of people; / was great for some, terrible for others." This acknowledgment of both positive and negative impacts suggests a balanced, honest appraisal of his journey. Corso doesn’t romanticize his past; instead, he accepts the complexities of his relationships and experiences. The following lines reveal a moment of past despair: "I remember my 31st year when I cried: / 'To think I may have to go another 31 years!'" This dramatic expression of existential dread contrasts sharply with his current, more tempered outlook: "I don’t feel that way this birthday." The shift from despair to acceptance reflects a growing maturity and perhaps a newfound appreciation for life’s unpredictability.

Corso imagines an idealized future: "I feel I want to be wise with white hair in a tall library / in a deep chair by a fireplace." This image of wisdom and tranquility contrasts with his earlier, more chaotic experiences, suggesting a desire for stability and intellectual fulfillment. The serene, almost idyllic setting he envisions reflects a longing for a life rooted in reflection and learning, a sharp departure from the wildness of his youth.

The poem takes a humorous turn as Corso reflects on his past transgressions: "Another year in which I stole nothing. / 8 years now and haven’t stole a thing! / I stopped stealing!" This lighthearted confession adds a playful, self-aware tone to the poem, acknowledging past misdeeds without dwelling on them. However, Corso admits that he "still lie[s] at times," and feels "shameless yet ashamed when it comes to asking for money." These admissions reflect the complexities of self-growth—while he has made progress in certain areas, he remains aware of his ongoing struggles with honesty and pride.

Corso then turns to his achievements: "32 years old and four hard real funny sad bad wonderful / books of poetry / —the world owes me a million dollars." This declaration blends pride with a touch of irony. The list of adjectives—"hard real funny sad bad wonderful"—captures the multifaceted nature of his work and life, suggesting that his poetry, like his experiences, defies easy categorization. The claim that "the world owes me a million dollars" can be read as both a literal desire for financial recognition and a metaphorical assertion that his contributions to literature and culture deserve acknowledgment.

Reflecting on the nature of his life’s journey, Corso muses: "I think I had a pretty weird 32 years. / And it weren’t up to me, none of it." This statement reflects a sense of fatalism or acceptance of life’s randomness. The idea that he had "no choice of two roads" suggests that his path was predetermined or shaped by forces beyond his control. Yet, he acknowledges that even if he had a choice, "I don’t doubt I’d have chosen both." This line captures Corso’s characteristic embrace of contradiction and complexity, suggesting a desire to experience life in all its varied forms, regardless of the consequences.

Corso’s reflections culminate in a declaration of his identity and purpose: "I like to think chance had it I play the bell. / The clue, perhaps, is in my unabashed declaration: / 'I’m good example there’s such a thing as called soul.'" The metaphor of "play[ing] the bell" suggests a role in creating resonance or impact, while the claim of having a "soul" reflects his belief in the depth and authenticity of his existence and work. This affirmation ties back to the central role of poetry in his life: "I love poetry because it makes me love / and presents me life." For Corso, poetry is not just a form of expression but a way of engaging with the world, fostering both emotional connection and a deeper understanding of life’s complexities.

The poem concludes with a powerful image of enduring inner fire: "And of all the fires that die in me, / there’s one burns like the sun; / it might not make day my personal life, / my association with people, / or my behavior toward society, / but it does tell me my soul has a shadow." This final reflection acknowledges that while his personal life and relationships may not always reflect brightness or clarity, there is an inner passion—symbolized by the sun—that persists. The idea that his soul "has a shadow" suggests a recognition of both light and darkness within himself, embracing the complexities of his identity.

In "Writ on the Eve of My 32nd Birthday," Gregory Corso offers a raw, humorous, and poignant meditation on aging, self-awareness, and the role of poetry in shaping identity. Through candid reflections and playful confessions, Corso captures the tension between youthful exuberance and mature introspection, ultimately celebrating the enduring power of creativity and the complexities of the human soul.

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