Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

"My Dad & Sardines" by Toi Derricotte is a poignant and introspective poem that weaves together themes of reconciliation, memory, and the simple joys of life. Through the lens of a seemingly mundane late-night snack, Derricotte embarks on a journey of self-discovery and healing, reflecting on her relationship with her father and the complex emotions surrounding it.

The poem opens with the speaker's desire to heal the relationship with her father, symbolized by the creation of "The Altar for Healing the Father & Child." This act of reaching out, of seeking a way to mend the brokenness, sets the tone for a narrative that is as much about healing oneself as it is about reconciling with another. The speaker's initial condition—to stop speaking ill of her father—is quickly retracted, revealing the depth of hurt and the difficulty of making such promises. This moment of hesitation underscores the tension between the desire for reconciliation and the pain of past grievances.

The turn to negotiation, to the possibility of establishing a connection even if the father is in heaven, introduces a sense of hope and the acknowledgment that healing can take many forms. The speaker's longing "to be able to enjoy the little things again" suggests a yearning for simplicity and peace, a desire to return to a state of being where the weight of unresolved issues does not overshadow everyday pleasures.

The discovery of a can of sardines becomes the catalyst for a deeper reflection on the speaker's father and the memories associated with him. The act of eating sardines late at night, mirroring her father's own enjoyment of the snack, becomes a moment of communion and understanding. Through this shared experience, the speaker gains insight into her father's character and the small joys that animated his life.

The vivid imagery of the father preparing the sardine snack, complete with mustard, a saltine cracker, and a slice of onion, brings to life a memory that is both specific and universal. The father's "rakish grin" and the sense of delight in his simple pleasure evoke a moment of connection that transcends the complexities of their relationship. It is in this moment of shared humanity, of recognizing the joy in the "little things," that the speaker finds a pathway to healing and understanding.

"My Dad & Sardines" is a testament to the power of memory and the small, often overlooked moments that can serve as bridges between hearts and across time. Derricotte's exploration of the father-daughter relationship, with its layers of hurt, love, and longing for reconciliation, invites readers to reflect on their own relationships and the potential for healing in the simple acts of remembrance and shared experience.

POEM TEXT: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/57820/my-dad-sardines

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