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"Against a Sickness: To the Female Double Principle God" by Alan Dugan is a poem that explores the complexities of belief, suffering, and the human relationship with divinity through a deeply personal and unconventional prayer. The poem is divided into two sections: a direct address to a deity characterized by both creation and destruction, and a personal lament about the illness of a loved one and the speaker's feelings of helplessness and frustration.

In the first section, the speaker relays words from a god who encompasses all aspects of existence—"god and all of this and that world and love garbage and slaughter all the time and spring once a year." This deity's portrayal is paradoxical, embodying both the nurturing aspects of life and the brutal realities of death and decay. The god expresses a preference for love, albeit infrequently ("Once a year I like to love"), suggesting a divine capriciousness or a detached benevolence. The conditions laid out by this god are stark, offering two forms of prayer: one of joyful acceptance ("Fruitfulness in Decay") and one of despair ("Decay, Ripe in the Fruitfulness"). This dichotomy highlights the inevitable decay and the potential for growth within it, pointing to a philosophy where joy and despair are intertwined and cyclical.

The second section shifts dramatically to a personal narrative. The speaker talks about a woman he cares deeply for, who is vividly described through the various nicknames she has been given, reflecting different facets of her identity and how she is perceived by others. Her vibrancy and strength are underscored ("strong legs, grey eyes, weak in the chest but always bouncing around"), yet now she is "sick to her god-damned stomach and rejects all medication." The speaker's distress is palpable as he confronts the god, questioning the fairness or logic in the suffering of those who praise the physical realm. His frustration culminates in a reflection on the god's nonchalant dismissal of human problems—"To hell with it: I am just god: it’s not my problem."

The speaker's response to his inability to alter or understand his loved one's suffering is resignation mixed with a stoic resolve. He declares that he will "sit out this passion unreconciled," acknowledging the overwhelming "too many voices" and his lack of causal power to effect change. His decision to continue on, dancing "at the ends of the white strings of nerves," symbolizes a choice to live passionately and intensely, despite the lack of resolution or comfort from the divine.

Dugan's poem is a powerful meditation on the human condition, juxtaposing the indifference of the divine with the intense emotional turmoil experienced by individuals. It questions the role of gods in human suffering and the purpose of prayer when faced with the inevitable decline and decay of life. The imagery of dancing on nerve strings suggests a life lived in heightened sensitivity, painfully aware of the precariousness and preciousness of existence.

Through these contrasting sections, Dugan crafts a complex narrative that challenges conventional notions of divinity and faith, urging a reckoning with the arbitrary and often painful nature of life. The poem serves as both a confrontation and a form of catharsis, allowing the speaker to voice his despair and defiance in the face of divine indifference and human frailty. This poignant exploration invites readers to reflect on their own beliefs and the ways in which they cope with the inevitable challenges of life and loss.

POEM TEXT: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46636/against-a-sickness-to-the-female-double-principle-god


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