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GATE, by                

Marie Howe’s "Gate" is a brief but profound meditation on grief, transformation, and the paradox of loss as an entry into deeper understanding. The poem explores the speaker’s realization that her brother’s death—his absence—became the threshold through which she finally stepped into the full experience of life. This revelation is both sorrowful and illuminating, illustrating how loss reconfigures existence and alters perception.

The opening line establishes the poem’s central metaphor: "I had no idea that the gate I would step through to finally enter this world would be the space my brother’s body made." Here, the "gate" is not a physical structure but a symbolic passage into a new way of being, one that is defined by the absence of her brother. His death, rather than closing off life, becomes the very thing that allows her to enter it fully. The phrase "finally enter this world" suggests a kind of awakening, as though only through loss has she come to truly understand what it means to be alive. The poem does not sentimentalize this realization; instead, it presents it as an inevitable and unanticipated truth.

The next lines paint a quiet but poignant portrait of her brother in his finality: "He was a little taller than me: a young man but grown, himself by then, done at twenty-eight." This description emphasizes both his completeness and his unfinishedness. Though he had reached adulthood, had become "himself by then," his life was abruptly sealed off, "done at twenty-eight." The use of "done" rather than "died" underscores the finality of his existence in a way that is almost practical, mirroring the simplicity of his daily routines. The next line reinforces this sense of completion through the mundane acts that now stand as his last: "having folded every sheet, rinsed every glass he would ever rinse under the cold and running water." These ordinary, repetitive motions become emblematic of his finished life, suggesting that even the smallest tasks take on weight and meaning when viewed in the light of death.

The poem then shifts to memory, with the brother’s voice returning in a repeated exchange: "This is what you have been waiting for, he used to say to me. And I’d say, What? And he’d say, This—holding up my cheese and mustard sandwich. And I’d say, What? And he’d say, This, sort of looking around." This conversation, with its gentle insistence and its everyday subject—a simple sandwich—captures the brother’s philosophy, his quiet wisdom. The repetition of "What?" emphasizes the speaker’s inability, at the time, to grasp what he meant. Yet in the context of his absence, his words gain new significance. He was pointing to the present moment, to the ordinariness of life, to the "this" that is always happening around us. The meaning she once failed to understand now becomes clear: life is not something to wait for—it is already here, in every folded sheet, every rinsed glass, every bite of food.

"Gate" is a meditation on the way death reshapes our understanding of life. The speaker’s brother, now gone, leaves behind an emptiness that paradoxically opens her to a fuller experience of the world. His voice lingers, not as a ghostly presence but as a reminder of what was always there—something simple, something present, something easy to overlook. In just a few lines, Howe captures the way grief can function as an initiation, not into despair, but into a deeper engagement with existence. The poem’s restrained, conversational tone makes its revelation all the more powerful, as it suggests that life’s greatest truths are not grand or dramatic but embedded in the smallest, most ordinary moments.


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