Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Marie Howe’s "What the Living Do" is a meditation on grief, memory, and the persistence of life in the wake of loss. The poem is addressed to Johnny, a reference to the poet’s brother who died of AIDS, and it unfolds through a series of mundane observations that gradually accumulate into a profound statement on existence. Through its conversational tone and simple, everyday imagery, the poem captures both the weight of absence and the resilience of the living.

The opening lines place the reader immediately in the domestic space of the speaker’s life: "Johnny, the kitchen sink has been clogged for days, some utensil probably / fell down there." This detail, so ordinary, sets the tone for the entire poem—grief is not grand or theatrical, but woven into the smallest inconveniences of daily life. The clogged sink, the "crusty dishes", and the "plumber I still haven’t called" function as metaphors for unresolved emotions, for the way that loss lingers in spaces where we least expect it.

The poem’s refrain—"This is what the living do."—appears first as a realization, then as an insistence. The repetition suggests both acceptance and astonishment at the sheer continuity of life. The speaker describes moments of minor frustrations: "driving, or dropping a bag of groceries in the street, the bag breaking," or "spilling my coffee down my wrist and sleeve." These moments seem trivial, but they become a way of affirming life’s forward motion. They contrast with the finality of death—Johnny can no longer experience these inconveniences, but the speaker, by living through them, remains connected to him.

A key emotional shift occurs in the lines: "What you called that yearning. What you finally gave up." The poem acknowledges the restless human desire for more—more time, more love, more life—but also recognizes the limits of that yearning. Johnny has already let go, but the speaker, and by extension all of the living, continues to want, to strive, to reach for what is just beyond grasp.

The most poignant moment arrives in the final lines when the speaker catches her own reflection in a store window: "I?m gripped by a cherishing so deep / for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat that I?m speechless: / I am living, I remember you." Here, the weight of grief and the beauty of life converge. The speaker’s body—imperfect, cold, exposed—is a testament to survival. The act of remembrance is not just about loss; it is about presence, about holding onto life even in its smallest details.

"What the Living Do" is a deeply human poem, one that transforms ordinary moments into sacred acts of remembrance. It does not seek to resolve grief but rather to show how it intertwines with daily life, how it can coexist with the act of living. In the end, the poem is not just an elegy for Johnny, but a recognition of the fragile, fleeting beauty of being alive.

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