Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Marie Howe’s "What the Living Do" is an elegiac meditation on grief, absence, and the ordinariness of life in the wake of loss. Written as an address to her deceased brother, Johnny, the poem navigates the daily minutiae of existence, contrasting the profound void of his absence with the seemingly trivial struggles of the speaker’s everyday life. The poem’s form—loose, conversational, and meandering—mirrors the nature of grief itself, which does not follow a linear trajectory but ebbs and flows through memory and routine.

The opening lines ground the poem in the tangible: "Johnny, the kitchen sink has been clogged for days, some utensil probably fell down there." The clogged sink serves as both a literal inconvenience and a metaphor for the stagnation of grief—things are stuck, unresolved, piling up, much like the emotions that remain unprocessed. The speaker’s awareness of small frustrations—"the Drano won’t work but smells dangerous, and the crusty dishes have piled up waiting for the plumber I still haven’t called"—establishes a contrast between the weight of loss and the persistence of the mundane. Life, despite everything, continues.

Then comes the realization: "This is the everyday we spoke of." It suggests that before Johnny’s death, there was a shared understanding of what life might be like after loss, but its reality is starkly different. Winter dominates the setting—"the sky’s a deep headstrong blue, and the sunlight pours through the open living room windows because the heat’s on too high in here, and I can’t turn it off." The excessive heat mirrors the uncontrollability of grief; the speaker cannot regulate her emotions, just as she cannot adjust the temperature. The juxtaposition of "deep headstrong blue" and "sunlight pouring through" suggests that even in the face of hardship, life insists on its own vibrancy.

The repetition of the refrain "This is what the living do." acts as an anchor for the poem, reinforcing the speaker’s growing understanding of what it means to persist. Life is not marked by grand moments but by minor irritations, by dropping groceries in the street, by the "wobbly bricks in the Cambridge sidewalk," by "spilling my coffee down my wrist and sleeve." These small inconveniences, often frustrating in the moment, become markers of existence, of participation in the world. The line "I thought it again, and again later, when buying a hairbrush: This is it." underscores the speaker’s realization that life is composed of these small, unremarkable moments.

The middle of the poem expands into a meditation on desire and its unending nature: "We want the spring to come and the winter to pass. We want whoever to call or not call, a letter, a kiss—we want more and more and then more of it." This section encapsulates human longing, the ceaseless cycle of anticipation and disappointment. The syntax becomes more urgent, with repetition reinforcing the speaker’s acknowledgment of an insatiable yearning, one that persists even in the face of grief.

However, the poem’s climax arrives not in an epiphany of loss but in a moment of self-recognition: "But there are moments, walking, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window glass, say, the window of the corner video store, and I’m gripped by a cherishing so deep for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat that I’m speechless: I am living, I remember you." This final revelation is unexpected and profound. The speaker, caught in the act of merely existing, experiences an overwhelming gratitude for her own aliveness. The sight of her "blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat"—all markers of imperfection and exposure—sparks a moment of deep appreciation. It is not happiness per se, but a recognition of being present in the world, of embodying the very thing that Johnny no longer can.

The final words—"I am living, I remember you."—unite past and present. To live is to remember, and to remember is, in a sense, to keep the dead alive. The poem does not offer closure or consolation; rather, it acknowledges the complexity of moving forward while still carrying the weight of loss. "What the Living Do" ultimately reveals that grief does not vanish but becomes woven into the fabric of daily life, manifesting in the most ordinary moments. The act of living, with all its imperfections and disappointments, becomes both an elegy and an affirmation.

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