Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

"Paid in Full" by Christopher Howell is a haunting meditation on the erasure of identity and the inevitable dissolution of self. Through surreal imagery, Howell delves into themes of mortality, the transience of personal achievements, and the stripping away of individuality. The poem portrays a man whose life and presence are systematically erased, leaving him to confront the void left behind—a void that ultimately serves as a reckoning for his existence.

The poem begins with an arresting image: “A man opens his mouth to spit or speak rapidly. Thousands of erasers tumble out.” This scene is both bizarre and unsettling, as erasers—objects typically associated with removal and correction—emerge as symbols of silence and obliteration. The man’s attempt to speak or spit becomes an act of self-erasure, as if his very attempt at expression leads to his undoing. The erasers that “are the silence keeping ahead of him” suggest a predetermined destiny where words and identity are ultimately futile, continually silenced by the mechanisms of erasure.

As the erasers “gather lovingly around him,” Howell introduces a disturbing irony. The erasers, symbols of negation, act “lovingly,” almost as if they are fulfilling a predestined role by erasing the man’s features, beginning with “the mouth then the nose, ears, and the rest of the face.” The gradual disappearance of his facial features emphasizes the systematic dismantling of his identity, leaving only “the eyes, tragic and wide, in a clear space above the body.” The preserved eyes convey vulnerability and the horror of watching one’s own erasure, capturing the man’s awareness of his dissolution even as he is powerless to stop it.

The line “Through the eyes the man watches all the dear labor of him erased” marks a transition from physical erasure to the removal of his achievements and possessions. The “dear labor” refers to the accumulated aspects of his life, the things he has built and gathered around him as markers of his identity. Howell lists “carefully chosen cigars and personal accouterments,” small symbols of individuality and taste, underscoring that even these personal details are subject to erasure. The “rug and walls go quickly,” signaling that the man’s environment—the spaces that frame his life—are also disappearing. The mention of “the wife” taking “a long slow sob of hours” adds a layer of emotional depth, suggesting that his relationships, too, are slowly slipping away as he becomes further removed from the world he once inhabited.

As the erasure intensifies, Howell’s imagery becomes more violent: “The arsenic blue floating eyes widen and fill with blood. The man’s body disappears in a frenzy of pink shavings.” The contrast between “arsenic blue” and “pink shavings” adds a visceral quality to the man’s disappearance, as if he is being shredded and dissolved into fragments. The blood in his eyes symbolizes both the horror of his awareness and the physical pain of being erased, as though his identity is under attack. The “pink shavings” indicate a complete breakdown of his physical form, reducing him to remnants that are devoid of any trace of self.

The poem’s climax comes with the image of “terrible eyes plead[ing] in a windy field,” where the man, or what remains of him, is now only a pair of eyes amidst an empty landscape. This visual captures his utter disconnection from the world and the horror of witnessing his own absence. The line “The man who is not sees that all things are without him” crystallizes his realization of total isolation and insignificance. This void is paradoxically beautiful, as he “sees the beauty of before he was, or after,” suggesting a glimpse into a time beyond his existence, a state untouched by human effort or identity.

In the final lines, the erasers become agents of cosmic judgment, writing on the “frosted glass of Heaven”: “All speech and all longing to speak erases the self, to some degree. Now you are paid in full.” This declaration suggests that the act of speaking, of attempting to define oneself, is inherently an act of erasure. Howell’s poem implies that identity, shaped by language and actions, is ultimately a temporary construct, one that dissolves under the weight of time and mortality. The phrase “Now you are paid in full” underscores the idea of existential debt, as if life itself is a transaction that must eventually be settled by relinquishing all possessions, relationships, and even the self.

"Paid in Full" by Christopher Howell is a profound exploration of mortality, identity, and the nature of existence. Through surreal and unsettling imagery, Howell confronts the inevitability of self-erasure, suggesting that in the end, the markers of individuality—the objects, relationships, and even the memories we hold dear—fade away, leaving only a void where identity once was. The poem challenges readers to consider the transitory nature of self and the ultimate silence that lies beyond, offering a stark, sobering reflection on the human experience.

Copyright (c) 2025 PoetryExplorer

Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!

Other Poems of Interest...