Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

"Pitcher’s Pride" by Christopher Howell is a poignant reflection on youthful ambition, the pursuit of mastery, and the sense of loss that accompanies the inevitable decline of physical prowess. Through the imagery of baseball and the perspective of a former pitcher, Howell captures the allure of competitive success, the intoxicating power of skill, and the lingering desire for the past. This poem explores themes of pride, sacrifice, and the deep, often painful nostalgia for lost abilities and unfulfilled dreams.

The poem opens with a clear image of the speaker’s teenage self, who, at sixteen, desires only “the hard laced scars / of dead horse / blurring from my fingers.” This line refers to the feel of a well-worn baseball—the seams pressed deep into the leather, imbued with the weight of past games and practices. The speaker’s intense focus is on the art and power of pitching, where the tactile connection with the ball represents skill and command. Howell’s use of “dead horse” hints at the raw materiality of the game, grounding it in physicality and tradition.

As the speaker describes the batter “winc[ing] / and rid[ing] forward / into failure,” he reveals a youthful, almost predatory pride in his ability to intimidate and dominate. The batter’s reaction reflects a sense of fear and vulnerability, while the speaker’s satisfaction in watching him “ride forward / into failure” captures the ego-boost that comes from besting an opponent. For the teenage pitcher, “all dreaming / was a pistol shot,” suggesting that his ambitions and desires were channeled entirely into the singular, explosive moment of the pitch.

The imagery of the “ball exploding / in the catcher’s glove” and the umpire’s arm “flying / up, recording the kill” portrays each successful strike as a conquest. The speaker is energized by the precision, power, and finality of the game. On the pitcher’s mound, which the speaker calls his “little tower / of earth,” he feels elevated, almost divine. This line suggests that for the young pitcher, the mound is a place of worship and reverence, a space where he can achieve transcendence through his craft.

The poem then shifts to an almost sacrilegious pride, as the speaker imagines being “close / enough to God” to feel His approval. The line “I could see my sin / dissolving in the thunderclaps / of His applause” blends hubris with a sense of absolution, as though the speaker’s pride and competitive spirit are redeemed by the imagined applause of God. The phrase “Atta way / to fire, my son” gives voice to this divine approval, reinforcing the speaker’s perception of himself as both powerful and blessed.

However, as the poem progresses, the tone becomes more somber. The line “When the arm went / years later / in rainy McMinnville” signals a turning point, introducing the reality of physical limitations and the toll that time and ambition take on the body. This moment in McMinnville, with its rain-soaked setting, marks the end of the speaker’s athletic power. The arm injury symbolizes not only the loss of his skill but also the shattering of his youthful dreams and self-image. The speaker’s pride, once a source of strength, has now led him to a place of vulnerability and supplication.

The speaker recalls praying, “forgive / please thy humble servant / his power to mow ‘em down,” expressing a kind of penitence for the pride and aggression that once fueled him. The phrase “mow ‘em down” evokes the ruthless precision of his pitching days, but now he is left asking for forgiveness, as if his former power and ambition were sins he must atone for. The “bleached fear” and “dull / lives calling slowly in / across the trimmed outfield / turned brown” convey a sense of emptiness and desolation. The once-vibrant field, now “trimmed” and “turned brown,” mirrors the speaker’s sense of loss and the inevitable fading of athletic glory.

The closing lines underscore the depth of the speaker’s longing: “I paid for that / by wanting, / every day always / through the ice packs / and cortisone / and my own brown grass, wanting / forever / one more game.” The repetition of “wanting” emphasizes the enduring nature of his desire, a feeling that transcends the physical limitations of his body. Despite the ice packs, cortisone shots, and the browning grass of his own life, he continues to yearn for “one more game.” This desire is not merely for the game itself but for the return of youth, power, and the exhilaration that defined his identity.

“Pitcher’s Pride” is a powerful reflection on the fleeting nature of physical prowess and the deep-seated longing that remains long after one’s prime has passed. Through the lens of baseball, Howell captures the intoxicating allure of competitive mastery and the poignant ache for lost dreams. The speaker’s journey from youthful pride to wistful reflection serves as a reminder of the sacrifices inherent in the pursuit of excellence, as well as the enduring hold that past glories can have over a life. In the end, the poem encapsulates the bittersweet nature of nostalgia, the pain of unfulfilled desires, and the humility that comes with the passage of time.

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