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TO MYSELF, by             Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography


In William Stanley Merwin's "To Myself," the poet navigates the realm of memory, presence, and absence, examining the intricate relationship between self and time. The poem is essentially a monologue, a self-addressed note that speaks of a relentless search for something-perhaps a past version of oneself, a particular moment in time, or even an elusive understanding of one's own identity.

The poem opens with the line "Even when I forget you," which at once captures the tension between memory and oblivion. Forgetting implies a lapse in memory, yet the act of looking for "you" persists. This "you" is ambiguous-it could be a past self, a dream, an emotion, or even a universal 'you' that could stand for a broader idea. Regardless of who or what "you" represents, the poet emphasizes a sense of absence coupled with a strange familiarity-"I believe I would know you."

As the poem unfolds, the idea of temporal elasticity comes into focus. Phrases like "sometimes long ago" and "a moment before" stretch and contract the notion of time. The poet seems caught between past and future, indicating that the search for "you" spans across various temporal dimensions. This makes the subject of the search-whether it's a past self, a moment, or an emotion-both elusive and omnipresent.

The lines "and the air is still alive / around where you were" evoke an almost haunting presence, as if the subject in question has just departed, leaving an intangible imprint. The "air" here could symbolize memory, thoughts, or even the spiritual, all mediums through which one can sense but not capture the essence of what is being sought.

Perhaps the most compelling lines in the poem are "you who pretend to be time but / you are not time." This suggests that what the poet is searching for is often mistaken as a product or a facet of time, but is in fact beyond it. This realization elevates the subject from being a mere memory or a forgotten self to something transcendent and unchanging.

The closing lines, "you who are not / lost when I do not find you," offer a somewhat paradoxical comfort. They assert that the essence of what is being sought is not contingent upon its discovery. This could be a nod to the idea that some parts of us, or aspects of human experience, are eternal-they exist beyond the limitations of our understanding and our ability to remember or forget.

"To Myself" is a poem that intricately weaves the complexities of identity, memory, and the passage of time. Through its elegant structure and poignant language, the poem serves as both an introspective journey and a universal message about the quest for understanding in a world where certain things remain indefinable and ever-elusive.


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