Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Nila NorthSun’s "Red Flags Yellow Flags" is a candid, introspective exploration of the speaker’s tumultuous relationship patterns and the paradoxes of desire, independence, and self-awareness. NorthSun, celebrated for her raw, conversational poetry, employs her signature blend of humor and honesty to dissect the complexities of romantic entanglements, particularly those with men who seem to embody instability or chaos. The poem’s informal structure—lacking capitalization, traditional punctuation, and set rhyme—mirrors the unpredictability of the relationships it describes, allowing the reader to feel as though they are eavesdropping on an intimate confession.

The opening lines set the tone of bewildered self-reflection: "i don't get it / i'm in my 40's and i still don't get it / why do good women fall for outlaws?" Here, the speaker grapples with the persistent allure of rebellious, perhaps even toxic, partners. The rhetorical question is as much for the reader as it is for herself, reflecting a sense of exasperation at the cyclical nature of her choices. The phrase "course i'm flattering myself / and giving them the benefit of the doubt" adds a layer of self-deprecating humor, acknowledging that both she and the men she attracts are far from perfect. This admission lays the groundwork for the poem’s central tension: the speaker’s simultaneous desire for excitement and her recognition of its consequences.

The speaker dismisses the notion of perfection with a casual observation: "i know there's no perfection / that would be boring anyway." This line reveals an important facet of her character—an aversion to monotony and a craving for the unpredictable. It’s this very craving that leads her to "court disaster / enjoy the roller coaster of tumultuous / relationships." The metaphor of a roller coaster aptly captures the highs and lows, the thrill and subsequent emotional chaos, of her romantic life. This acknowledgment of seeking out emotional turbulence speaks to a deeper conflict between the desire for stability and the allure of intensity.

Interestingly, the speaker juxtaposes her chaotic personal life with her professional competence: "that's probably why my vocation is crisis / resolution / i'm good at it with other people's lives / i can balance 6 figure budgets and develop / program goals but my own checks keep bouncing." This contrast between professional prowess and personal disarray underscores the irony at the heart of the poem. The speaker excels at managing external crises, yet struggles to apply the same level of control to her own life. The image of bouncing checks not only symbolizes financial instability but also serves as a metaphor for emotional overdrafts—constantly expending energy in relationships that don’t yield lasting fulfillment.

The repetition of "and these men / these men" emphasizes the recurring nature of the speaker’s encounters with problematic partners. The line, "i must be inviting them in," suggests a reluctant acknowledgment of her own role in perpetuating these dynamics. Yet, the comparison to "an unwanted salesman / or seventh day adventist" humorously frames these men as persistent intrusions rather than welcome guests. The speaker’s efforts to "shoo them away" only to "wonder why nobody knocks at my door" highlight the paradox of desiring both solitude and connection, a theme that runs throughout the poem.

NorthSun deepens the exploration of these romantic entanglements by noting the unsettling age range of the men she attracts: "some of these men / seem to be boys / and some of these men are grandpas / soon to be great-grandpas." This observation speaks to the universality of emotional immaturity, suggesting that age does not necessarily correlate with relational wisdom. It also hints at the speaker’s struggle to find partners who meet her emotional needs, regardless of their life stage.

The speaker briefly contemplates seeking "solace in women," only to conclude that it would be "more of the same." This line challenges the notion that switching the gender of one’s partners would resolve deeper relational patterns. It suggests that the speaker recognizes her own role in these dynamics, rather than attributing the issues solely to the men she dates. The reference to Marlene Dietrich—a German-American actress known for her distinctive, androgynous style and famous for the line "I vant to be alone"—adds a final layer of complexity. The invocation of Dietrich suggests a yearning for independence and self-sufficiency, but also carries an undercurrent of melancholy. The desire to be alone is framed not as a triumphant declaration of autonomy, but as a weary resignation to the complexities of human connection.

Structurally, the poem’s lack of punctuation and its free-verse form reflect the speaker’s emotional turbulence. The lines flow into one another without clear breaks, mimicking the unstructured, sometimes chaotic nature of her relationships. This stylistic choice creates a sense of immediacy and intimacy, drawing the reader into the speaker’s stream of consciousness. The conversational tone makes the poem feel like a candid confession, as if the speaker is working through her thoughts in real-time.

In the broader context of NorthSun’s work, "Red Flags Yellow Flags" continues her exploration of personal and cultural identity through the lens of everyday experiences. While many of her poems tackle explicitly Native American themes, this poem focuses more universally on the challenges of romantic relationships and self-awareness. However, the poem’s candid, no-nonsense voice is distinctly NorthSun’s, blending humor, vulnerability, and sharp observation to create a piece that is both deeply personal and widely relatable.

Ultimately, "Red Flags Yellow Flags" is a meditation on the contradictions of desire—the push and pull between craving excitement and seeking stability, between wanting connection and fearing entrapment. NorthSun captures the messiness of human relationships with unflinching honesty, inviting readers to reflect on their own patterns while offering no easy answers. The poem’s power lies in its refusal to resolve these contradictions, instead embracing the complexities of love, self-sabotage, and the ongoing struggle to understand oneself.

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