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YOU KINDLY, by             Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography

"You Kindly" by Sharon Olds is a sensual and introspective exploration of an intimate encounter between partners, delving into themes of vulnerability, physical connection, and the transcendence of personal boundaries. The poem captures the raw and vivid experience of sexuality, while also touching on the deeper emotional and existential resonances that can emerge during such moments.

The poem opens with the speaker describing how her partner moved for her, "kneeling / and turning," to initiate an intimate act. The description of the partner taking the "breast-tip in the socket of your lips" evokes a nurturing and erotic image, reminiscent of breastfeeding, and underscores the deep physical connection between the two. The speaker's visceral response is described with a metaphor comparing her womb's contractions to "the fist of the uterus" tightening, as it would when "newborns nurse." This comparison ties the physical sensation of sexual pleasure to a primal, nurturing instinct.

As the encounter progresses, the speaker's focus shifts to her partner's "daily hand," emphasizing the familiar and ordinary aspects of the partner, which contrasts with the extraordinary physical and emotional sensations being experienced. The description of the partner's hand, with "quiet hairs" and a "thumbnail," grounds the encounter in the reality of everyday life, even as the experience itself transcends the mundane.

The poem explores the complexity of desire and the simultaneous feelings of vulnerability and empowerment. The speaker describes feeling "black fork-flashes of a celibate's lust" and being unable to lift her head, signifying a sense of surrender and submission to the experience. The partner's touch, described as "delicate blunt," and the "hard penis in long caresses" further emphasize the mingling of tenderness and rawness, creating a sense of "species happiness" and "calm which gleams / with fearless anguished desire." This duality reflects the intensity of the moment and the profound connection between the partners.

As the poem continues, the speaker's descriptions become more abstract and metaphorical, capturing the transformative nature of the experience. The sexual act is likened to "bone creatures" being moved "so their gods could be fitted to each other," suggesting a divine or transcendent aspect to the physical union. The imagery of a "grey flower the color of the brain," a "calla or iris," and the sensation of being "more than bare" alludes to the speaker's sense of merging with something beyond the physical, a deeper connection that strips away all pretense and reveals the essence of existence.

The speaker expresses a sense of dissolution and transformation, describing how the act stripped away the "thinnest garment" and left her feeling exposed, as if experiencing "the paradise flay." This metaphor suggests a vulnerability that is both terrifying and liberating, as the speaker feels entirely open and bare to her partner. The subsequent lines delve into the inexplicable aspects of the experience, where the speaker feels as if she is crossing into realms of "history / or war, or the witches possessed, or the end of life." This suggests a crossing of boundaries, a feeling of being part of something much larger and more profound than the individual self.

The poem culminates in a moment of tenderness and reflection, as the speaker weeps, unsure if she has crossed into death or a new understanding of life. The act of lowering "the salt breasts of my eyes to your mouth" and the partner's gentle response underscores the tenderness and care in their relationship. The speaker sees "not you but something that lives between us," acknowledging a profound and indescribable connection that exists beyond the physical act, something unique and sacred to their relationship.

The final lines return to a sense of grounding and reality, as the speaker strokes her partner's hair and consciously chooses not to think of her father's hair. This decision signifies a boundary between the present intimate moment and past associations, emphasizing the distinct and personal nature of the connection she shares with her partner.

"You Kindly" by Sharon Olds is a richly textured and deeply introspective poem that captures the profound and transformative nature of intimate physical and emotional experiences. Through vivid imagery and evocative language, Olds explores the complexities of desire, vulnerability, and the transcendence of personal boundaries, offering a powerful meditation on the nature of human connection and the deeper truths that can emerge from intimate encounters.


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