Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Anne Sexton’s poem "Two Sons" is a raw and emotionally charged exploration of maternal pain, loss, and the sense of abandonment that accompanies the departure of children into their own lives. Through vivid and often biting imagery, Sexton delves into the complex emotions of a mother who feels left behind as her sons move on, creating lives separate from the one she provided for them. The poem grapples with themes of aging, loneliness, and the bitterness that can arise when the bonds between parent and child are stretched thin by time and distance.

The poem opens with a tone of resignation and uncertainty: "Where and to whom / you are married I can only guess / in my piecemeal fashion." The mother acknowledges that she has lost touch with the intimate details of her sons' lives, only able to "guess" about their marriages and the people they have become. This sense of detachment is compounded by the phrase "I grow old on my bitterness," indicating that the mother’s feelings of resentment have accumulated over time, coloring her experience of aging with a sense of betrayal and loss.

The "unique occasion / of your two sudden wedding days" is marked not by celebration, but by a solitary act of opening "some cheap wine, a tin of lobster and mayonnaise." The choice of "cheap wine" and a tin of food suggests a sense of irony and disappointment, as if the mother is making do with a poor substitute for the family gatherings and feasts that might have once marked such significant life events. The imagery of "an old lady's room / where families used to feast" reinforces the theme of loneliness and the passage of time, where the warmth and joy of family life have been replaced by an empty, drafty space, with the wind blowing in "like soot from north-northeast." This direction, often associated with cold, harsh weather, symbolizes the chilling effect of her sons' absence.

Sexton then addresses the sons' departure with a mixture of nostalgia and bitterness: "Both of you monopolized / with no real forwarding address / except for two silly postcards you bothered to send home." The postcards, one "written in grease" and the other "airmailed to Boston from Rome," are dismissively described, highlighting the mother's sense of being neglected and forgotten. The postcards symbolize the fleeting and superficial connections that her sons maintain with her, contrasting sharply with the depth of her feelings and the sacrifices she made for them.

The poem’s imagery becomes more visceral and accusatory as the mother reflects on the sons' relationships: "Both of you made of my cooking, those suppers of starch / and beef, and with my library, / my medicine, my bath water, / both sinking into small brown pools like muddy otters!" Here, Sexton evokes the nurturing and care the mother provided, from meals to intellectual and physical sustenance, only to have her sons "sink" into their own lives, leaving her behind. The comparison to "muddy otters" suggests that the sons, once clean and cared for, have now become distant and unrecognizable, absorbed in their own worlds.

The poem culminates in a bitter reflection on the sons' new lives: "You make a toast for tomorrow / and smash the cup, / letting your false women lap the dish I had to fatten up." The "false women" represent the sons' wives or partners, who the mother sees as usurpers of the role she once played in their lives. The act of smashing the cup after making a toast symbolizes the final break, a deliberate severing of the past that leaves the mother feeling discarded and betrayed.

In the final stanza, Sexton shifts to a tone of ironic resolve: "When you come back I'll buy / a wig of yellow hair; / I'll squat in a new red dress; I'll be playing solitaire / on the kitchen floor." The mother imagines herself adopting a new, almost grotesque persona—wearing a wig and a bright red dress, playing a lonely game of solitaire. This image captures the depth of her pain and her sense of having to reinvent herself in the face of her sons' abandonment. The game of solitaire, played on the kitchen floor, is a metaphor for her solitary existence, reduced to playing games alone in the space that once symbolized family life and nourishment.

The poem closes with the poignant and resigned lines: "Yes . . . I'll gather myself in / like cut flowers and ask you how you are and where you've been." The comparison to "cut flowers" evokes the image of something beautiful but lifeless, preserved temporarily but ultimately destined to wither. The mother's resolve to "gather [herself] in" suggests a retreat into herself, a protective response to the emotional wounds inflicted by her sons' departure. The final act of asking her sons "how you are and where you've been" is an attempt to maintain some connection, even as she acknowledges the distance that now separates them.

In "Two Sons," Anne Sexton masterfully conveys the anguish of a mother who feels abandoned and forgotten by her children. Through powerful imagery and a tone that shifts between bitterness and melancholy, the poem explores the complex emotions that arise when the bonds of family are strained by time, distance, and the inevitable changes that come with growing up and moving on. The poem is a poignant reflection on the sacrifices of parenthood and the pain of realizing that those sacrifices may go unrecognized or unreciprocated, leaving the parent to grapple with a profound sense of loss and loneliness.

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