... "Mary, wife, where art thou, dearest?" Thus I cry, while yet afar; Ah, what scent invades my nostrils?— 'Tis the smoke of a cigar! Instantly into the parlour Like a maniac I haste, And I find a young Life-Guardsman With his arm round Mary's waist. ... "Fires and furies! what the blazes?" Thus in frenzied wrath I call; When my spouse her arm upraises With a most astounding squall. "Was there ever such a monster? Ever such a wretched wife? Oh! how long must I endure it, How protract this hateful life? All day long quite unprotected, Does he leave his wife at home; And she cannot see her cousins, Even when they kindly come!" ... In fear I faintly falter "This your cousin?—Then he's mine! Very glad, indeed, to see you.— Won't you stop with us and dine?" Won't a ferret suck a rabbit? As a thing of course he stops And with most voracious swallow Walks into my mutton chops. In the twinkling of a bed-post Is each savory platter clear, And he shows uncommon science In his estimate of beer. Half and half goes down before him, Gurgling from the pewter-pot; And he moves a counter motion For a glass of something hot. Neither chops nor beer I grudge him, Nor a moderate share of goes; But I know not why he's always Treading upon Mary's toes. Evermore when home returning. From the counting-house I come, Do I find the young Life-Guardsman Smoking pipes and drinking rum. Yet I know he's Mary's cousin For my only son and heir Much resembles that young Guardsman With the self-same curly hair. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...THE STORM by KATHERINE MANSFIELD A MOTHER TO HER SICK CHILD by WILLIAM HENRY DAVIES THE ADOPTED CHILD by FELICIA DOROTHEA HEMANS SEVEN SAD SONNETS: 4. SHE REMEMBERS by MARY REYNOLDS ALDIS CLOUD-CLIMBING by LOUISA SARAH BEVINGTON THE STUDY by EDMUND CHARLES BLUNDEN |