I may be a miser, A scheming deviser, At keeping the grocery bill down; I may be a wizard, A slithering lizard In getting through traffic downtown; I exercise magic Avoiding the tragic Disaster of baking too brown; I'm really quite clever In wearing forever Old shoes or a made-over gown; But -- I let myself go on my hats. I try to be patient, I'm never complacent, In dressing, I seldom am slow. I never talk nonsense, I'm the very quintessence Of feminine charm. And also I diet in silence With strictest compliance To all his desires; although When he stares at me boldly, Contemptuously, coldly, With looks of dismay, then I know That I've let myself go on my hats. |