In times prehistoric, when lovers' fond ways Consisted of using the club and the fist, And knocking the maid of one's choice in a daze Before she had ever been fondled or kissed, As soon as the lady revived and came to And fingered the bumps that she had on her head And put some raw meat on her eye that was blue, There isn't a doubt that she tenderly said: "Oh, am I the first one you've bumped on the bean, The first whom you've ruthlessly dragged by the hair, The first that with masculine ardor so keen You've borne in a comatose state to your lair? Oh, say I'm the first that you've handled ungloved Whose features your passion has led you to mar, The only young lady you ever have loved!" And being a gent in his aim and intent The caveman replied to her, "Darling, you are!" The methods of courtship have changed quite a bit Within the past three or four millions of years, And now when we mention our "making a hit" We don't mean a wallop just back of the ears; But when, as in days when a damsel was shoved Unconscious and limp in a troglodyte's den, She asks, "Am I truly the first you have loved?" We keep the past hid as the troglodyte did, And lie to her now as he lied to her then! | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...TO A CHILD EMBRACING HIS MOTHER by THOMAS HOOD IDYLLS OF THE KING: PELLEAS AND ETTARRE by ALFRED TENNYSON COMPOSED BY THE SEA-SIDE NEAR CALAIS [AUGUST 1802] by WILLIAM WORDSWORTH TO MYRTILLA OF NEW YORK by FRANKLIN PIERCE ADAMS IMAGES: 2 by RICHARD ALDINGTON THE SONG OF THE COSSACK by PIERRE JEAN DE BERANGER ECCLESIASTES by OLD TESTAMENT BIBLE L'INDIFFERENT; WATTEAU; THE LOUVRE by KATHERINE HARRIS BRADLEY |