"WHAT'LL you have, John? Cider or gin? Or something stronger? Walk right in. Hurry up, landlord, With main and might, And don't make a thirsty man Wait all night! "Not any cider? And ale won't do. A brandy-smasher, then, Glasses for two! And mind you, landlord, Mix it strong, And don't keep us waiting here All night long! "Not any brandy? Landlord, drum Something or other up. Got any rum? Step about lively! Hot and strong, And don't keep us waiting here All night long! "Not any toddy? Not the least little bit? Whiskey and water, then, That must be it! Step about, landlord, We're all right, And don't make a thirsty man Wait all night!" "What's wrong now, John? Come, sit down. Don't you like white sugar? Then have brown. And, landlord, hark ye, Cigars and a light, And don't keep us waiting here Quite all night!" "What'll I have, man? The right, to be sure, To keep all the sense that God gave me secure! The right to myself, man, And, in the next place, The right to look all Honest men in the face! "So, waiter, you need not Be off on the run Till I've countermanded All orders but one: No liquor, no sugar, Nor brown, nor yet white, And don't fetch cigars in, And don't fetch a light! "We're on our way home To our children and wives, And wouldn't stay plaguing them Not for our lives; Fetch only the water, The rest is all wrong, We can't take the chances Of staying too long." | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...THE RAJPOOT WIFE by EDWIN ARNOLD IN A ROSE GARDEN by JOHN BENNETT (1865-1956) O YE JOYS! by LOUISA SARAH BEVINGTON UNDOMESTICATED ANIMALS by BERTON BRALEY ON THE RIGHT HONOURABLE CHARLES, LORD HERBERT by WILLIAM BROWNE (1591-1643) THE CALL OF THE STREAM by CHARLES HENRY CRANDALL |