A LETTER TO SIR GEORGE ETHEREGE by JOHN DRYDEN

To you who live in chill Degree,
As Map informs, of Fifty three,
And do not much for Cold atone
By bringing thither Fifty one,
Methinks all Climes shou'd be alike,
From Tropick even to Pole Artique;
Since you have such a Constitution
As nowhere suffers Diminution.
You can be old in grave Debate,
And young in Love-affairs of State:
And both to Wives and Husbands show
The Vigour of a Plenipo.
Like mighty Missioner you come
@3Ad Partes Infidelium;@1
A Work of wondrous Merit sure,
So far to go, so much t' indure;
And all to Preach to @3German@1 Dame,
Where Sound of @3Cupid@1 never came.
Less had you done, had you been sent
As far as @3Drake@1 or @3Pinto@1 went,
For Cloves or Nutmegs to the line @3a@1,
Or e'en for Oranges to @3China@1:
That had indeed been Charity,
Where Love-sick Ladies helpless lye,
Chapt, and for want of Liquor dry.
But you have made your Zeal appear
Within the Circle of the @3Bear.@1
What Region of the Earth's so dull,
That is not of your Labours full?
@3Triptolemus,@1 so sung the Nine,
Strew'd Plenty from his Cart Divine,
But spite of all these Fable-Makers,
He never sow'd on @3Almain@1 Acres:
No, that was left by Fate's Decree
To be perform'd and sung by thee.
Thou break'st thro' Forms with as much ease
As the @3French@1 King thro' Articles.
In grand Affairs thy Days are spent,
In waging weighty Complement
With such as monarchs represent.
They who such vast Fatigues attend,
Want some soft Minutes to unbend,
To show the World that now and then
Great Ministers are mortal Men.
Then @3Rhenish@1 Rummers walk the Round,
In Bumpers ev'ry King is crown'd,
Besides three Holy miter'd Hectors,
And the whole College of Electors.
No Health of Potentate is sunk
That pays to make his Envoy drunk.
These @3Dutch@1 Delights I mention'd last,
Suit not I know your @3English@1 taste:
For Wine to leave a Whore or Play
Was ne'er your Excellency's way.
Nor need this Title give Offence,
For here you were your Excellence;
For Gaming, Writing, Speaking, Keeping,
His Excellence for all but Sleeping.
Now if you tope in form, and treat,
'Tis the sour Sauce to the sweet Meat,
The fine you pay for being great.
Nay, here's a harder Imposition,
Which is indeed the Court's Petition,
That setting worldly Pomp aside,
Which Poet has at Font deny'd,
You wou'd be pleased in humble way
To write a Trifle call'd a Play.
This truly is a Degradation,
But wou'd oblige the Crown and Nation
Next to your wise Negotiation.
If you pretend, as well you may,
Your high Degree, your friends will say,
The Duke @3St. Agnon@1 made a play.
If @3Gallick@1 Wit convince you scarce,
His Grace of @3Bucks@1 has made a Farce;
And you, whose Comick Wit is Terse all,
Can hardly fall below Rehearsal.
Then finish what you have began,
But scribble faster if you can:
For yet no @3George,@1 to our discerning,
Has writ without a ten Years Warning.

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